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Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people are leaving the countryside and moving to the cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages.

#people #countryside #cities #trend
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Nowadays a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 move away from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to reside in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 .Admittedly ,the demerit of
vast
Change the article
a vast
the vast
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 number of individuals migrating to the metropolitan is that it can result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in agricultural production in the rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are tremendous
advantages
Use synonyms
 of job
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and brighter future prospects for the children in the city centre
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the demerits of
people
Use synonyms
 moving away from the rural area to live in the metropolitan is that there is
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
show examples
 in agricultural product .
This
Linking Words
 is because there are limited labourers to carry out farming activities like planting and cultivating crops and
also
Linking Words
 rearing of animals for human consumption, which in turn might result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 famine because there will be
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in food produced.To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, A recent report in
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Newspaper in 2020 stated that the amount of food harvested in a certain local community has drastically reduced because there are limited workers in the remote
areas
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, despite
this
Linking Words
 disadvantage, there are enormous merits of employment purposes for
people
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
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. There are numerous benefits of residing in the city centre One of the
advantages
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 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are
opportunities
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different kinds of jobs.
This
Linking Words
 is because there are different companies and organisation where
people
Use synonyms
 can work and earn a living for themselves and other family members.
A recent
Remove the article
Recent
show examples
 research in Adelaide Company in Lagos showed that 80% of their workers are from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
areas
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, residing in the urban
areas
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 will result in
brighter
Correct article usage
a brighter
show examples
Replace the word
prospects
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prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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 for the young ones as they will access to good education and other social amenities. From the aforementioned example, it is apparent that working in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 has
a tremendous
Correct the article-noun agreement
a tremendous advantage
tremendous advantages
show examples
advantages
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 of employment
opportunities
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 and it far outweighs the disadvantage it could bring. In conclusion,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
I lot
 of individuals move away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
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 to reside in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
Use synonyms
 .In my opinion, the
advantages
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 of migrating into the metropolitan supersede the disadvantages due to the fact that there are
opportunities
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 better employment and good living for the children in the city centre
Submitted by ayodam90 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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