In some countries, the number of private healthcare providers is increasing. Is it a positive or negative development?
In a certain number of regions, private
healthcare
providers are spreading quickly. Some people doubt about the impact of private health care. I strongly agree that private health care provides a better quality of services
in comparison with NHS
due to
the high qualification of workers and modern equipment.
Firstly
, the effectiveness of treatment is frequently superior in the private healthcare
sector for several reasons; however
, the latest facilities and highly qualified doctors are the main features of this
. To exemplify, according to
the World Health Organization research, 70% of respondents answered that they would prefer to visit private healthcare
organizations if they had enough money, rather than NHS
. The fundamental difference between private healthcare
services
and national healthcare
services
is that NHS
is free as a rule, and private healthcare
services
are usually available only for the elite or people upper middle social class. Consequently
, high-income grants update tools in time, so medics can show their best performance as well. Therefore
, these merits can guarantee the accuracy of medics' diagnoses.
Conversely
, as it was mentioned above, PHS
is extremely expensive and unaffordable for most of the residents. For example
, the research conducted by Indian University revealed that 79% of NHS
customers cannot afford to attend PHS
because of low average earnings. Obviously, private healthcare
companies require huge amounts of money to receive the best treatment process in the market. Moreover
, they do not grant curving from heavy illnesses and do not have a refund system.
Thus
, PHS
is the best option, but you have to check its accessibility for your pockets.
To conclude
, it is arguable opinion that PHS
is the best variant in all aspects due to
its hard availability and other discussed reasons. Experts recommend following instructions given by the government and using their free services
, which are the safest ones, as much as possibleSubmitted by Umar on
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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and supported. For example in your second paragraph, the effectiveness of private healthcare could be further elaborated on with more specific examples.
task achievement
Maintain focus on the main argument throughout the essay. While the points are clear, ensure they are directly relevant to your position that private healthcare provides better quality of services. Some points drift slightly from this main argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to achieve logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one and that there is a clear connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make use of topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state what each paragraph will discuss. This will help in maintaining a coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
Try to incorporate more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the fluency and readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a structured response.
task achievement
The main points you presented are relevant and contribute to the overall argument. You've included specific examples that add value to your points.
task achievement
Your essay maintains a consistent position and tone, demonstrating clear ideas and comprehensively covering the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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