In some countries, the number of private healthcare providers is increasing. Is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a certain number of regions, private
healthcare
Use synonyms
providers are spreading quickly. Some people doubt about the impact of private health care. I strongly agree that private health care provides a better quality of
services
Use synonyms
in comparison with
NHS
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
the high qualification of workers and modern equipment.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the effectiveness of treatment is frequently superior in the private
healthcare
Use synonyms
sector for several reasons;
however
Linking Words
, the latest facilities and highly qualified doctors are the main features of
this
Linking Words
. To exemplify,
according to
Linking Words
the World Health Organization research, 70% of respondents answered that they would prefer to visit private
healthcare
Use synonyms
organizations if they had enough money, rather than
NHS
Use synonyms
. The fundamental difference between private
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
and national
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
is that
NHS
Use synonyms
is free as a rule, and private
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
are usually available only for the elite or people upper middle social class.
Consequently
Linking Words
, high-income grants update tools in time, so medics can show their best performance as well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these merits can guarantee the accuracy of medics' diagnoses.
Conversely
Linking Words
, as it was mentioned above,
PHS
Use synonyms
is extremely expensive and unaffordable for most of the residents.
For example
Linking Words
, the research conducted by Indian University revealed that 79% of
NHS
Use synonyms
customers cannot afford to attend
PHS
Use synonyms
because of low average earnings. Obviously, private
healthcare
Use synonyms
companies require huge amounts of money to receive the best treatment process in the market.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they do not grant curving from heavy illnesses and do not have a refund system.
Thus
Linking Words
,
PHS
Use synonyms
is the best option, but you have to check its accessibility for your pockets.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is arguable opinion that
PHS
Use synonyms
is the best variant in all aspects
due to
Linking Words
its hard availability and other discussed reasons. Experts recommend following instructions given by the government and using their free
services
Use synonyms
, which are the safest ones, as much as possible
Submitted by Umar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and supported. For example in your second paragraph, the effectiveness of private healthcare could be further elaborated on with more specific examples.
task achievement
Maintain focus on the main argument throughout the essay. While the points are clear, ensure they are directly relevant to your position that private healthcare provides better quality of services. Some points drift slightly from this main argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to achieve logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one and that there is a clear connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make use of topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state what each paragraph will discuss. This will help in maintaining a coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
Try to incorporate more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the fluency and readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a structured response.
task achievement
The main points you presented are relevant and contribute to the overall argument. You've included specific examples that add value to your points.
task achievement
Your essay maintains a consistent position and tone, demonstrating clear ideas and comprehensively covering the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: