In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members

In many countries, it is commonly the old generation be taken into aged-care homes. It is believed that family

members

should invariably treat them,

however

, I strongly against the belief being inappropriate if

elderlies

live in retirement homes. Because it would be unfair for both children and old ones if they have been attached always together. To commence with, family

members

have their own life and sometimes they are enforced to work overtime to meet their requirements. So, how do they could always treat their ageing

members

? Not to mention, a number of

elderlies

are involving with physical and mental ailments,

for example

, heart attack, Alzheimer, etc. are being prescribed through pills.

As a result

, they certainly need to treat by a nurse. For them, a retirement home would be the best where nursing is appropriate and coming up with other

members

is joyful. Making friend, chatting and eating around one table help them to feel convenient and satisfied.

However

, meanwhile, some argue that it is unjustified for

elderlies

to live in

such

places because they are a part of our memory and life and should look up to. Family

members

, though, cure for them providing phone, they could call as long as homesickness. And

thus

, children can pick them up home for a while or they may plan to catch them up on weekends gathering and having nice moments,

for example

. As a consequence, both have their own privacy, at the same time, a sense of satisfaction. In conclusion, I reaffirm my disagreement regarding the notion; since being in retirement homes is not good for

elderlies

, they should always be remedied by families. I do think the old generation needs nursing, having a connection with others and an aged-care home is suitable, at the same time, there is a family which need to have calmness supplying to

elderlies

Submitted by roosta6787 on Sun Jun 06 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that professionals , such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuess both these views and give your opinion.

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Most school offers some type of physical education program to their students. Why is it important? Should physical education classes be required or optional?