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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

It is said that
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays spend more time working rather than joining leisure activities. From my perspective, there are more drawbacks derived from
this
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 phenomenon than its benefits. On the one hand, there are certain merits when
people
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 spend hours at
work
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 choose to
work
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 more hours to earn more money to cover their basic needs
such
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 as rent, food, transportation, and phone bills. To illustrate
this
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, in some
of
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apply
show examples
Linking Words
third
Add an article
the third
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 world countries
such
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 as Vietnam, minimum wages cannot guarantee
the
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apply
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food and accommodation, so
people
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 are forced to
work
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 longer hour.
Secondly
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, some
people
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 choose to
work
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 long hour because they follow materialism. The possession of luxurious cars or houses would be the motivation for them to
work
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 harder and longer at their workplace.
On the other hand
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, working long hours
also
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 brings a lot of problems to
people
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’s mental and physical health. In fact,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of relaxation after
work
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 might cause exhaustion to the body. Recent research from Japan shows that
people
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 who
work
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 overtime are 90
percent
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per cent
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 more likely to be depressed, given the fact that overworking is the leading cause of many suicides in
this
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 country.
In addition
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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productivity is usually lower
at
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for
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people
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 who choose to
work
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 overtime.
This
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 is because the human brain cannot concentrate for a long period of time and the body will be exhausted from sitting or standing too long. In conclusion, with effects regarding
people
Use synonyms
’s mental and physical health from working overtime, I believe that
this
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 phenomenon has more disadvantages than benefits.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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