IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people are leaving the countryside and moving to the cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages.

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Nowadays a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 move away from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to reside in the
city
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.Admittedly,the demerit of
vast
Change the article
a vast
the vast
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 number of individuals migrating to the metropolitan is that it can result in
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
show examples
 of agricultural produce in
rural
Correct article usage
the rural
show examples
 side.
However
Linking Words
, there are tremendous
advantages
Use synonyms
 of job
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and brighter future prospects for the children in the
city
Use synonyms
 centre On the one hand, one of the demerits of
people
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 moving away from
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
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 area to live in the metropolitan is that there is
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
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 in
farming
Add an article
the farming
a farming
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 product .
This
Linking Words
 is because there are limited labourers to carry out farming activities like planting and cultivating crops and
also
Linking Words
 rearing of animals for human consumption, which in turn might result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 famine because there will be
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in food produced.To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, A Recent report in
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Newspaper in 2020 stated that the amount of food harvested in a certain local community has drastically reduced because there are limited workers in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
areas
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, despite
this
Linking Words
 disadvantage, there are enormous merits of employment purposes for
people
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 in
metropolitan
Add an article
the metropolitan
a metropolitan
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, residing in the
city
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 centre has some
advantages
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 .
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are
opportunities
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different kinds of jobs.
This
Linking Words
 is because there are different companies and organisation where
people
Use synonyms
 can work and earn a living for themselves and other family members.
For example
Linking Words
, A recent research in Adelaide Company in Lagos showed that 80% of their workers are from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
areas
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it might result in
brighter
Correct article usage
a brighter
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 future for the young ones as they will have access to good education and other social amenities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is apparent that working in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 has
a tremendous
Correct the article-noun agreement
a tremendous advantage
tremendous advantages
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advantages
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 of employment
opportunities
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 and it far outweighs the disadvantage it could bring. In conclusion,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
I lot
 of individuals move away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
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 to reside in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
Use synonyms
 .In my opinion, the
advantages
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 of migrating into the metropolitan supersede the disadvantages due to the fact that there are
opportunities
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 better employment and good living for children in the
city
Use synonyms
 centre

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