Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own personal happiness . Others argue that happiness can be affected by other factors .  Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Although
few
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that
happiness
depends on own self, Others believe it comes
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other factors. I propound that, with the high standard
life
people
can live more happily. Enjoyment plays an essential for all human's
life
. A good reason to live
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
life
is that if
people
live with a positive attitude. At present,
people
are living with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress and tensions due to their workloads and personal issues but if
people
always think in a positive way so it can be
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to live
depressed
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a depressed
show examples
free
life
.
For instance
, due to pandemic all peoples mind are disturbed and have fear about it but positive thinking is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best solution which provides relaxation to
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
and removes fear as well. Another part to consider is that there are several factors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
happiness
.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
is a major factor that influences
people
’s
happiness
.
Money
can fulfil their needs and
also
can provide
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
standard of
life
which all humans want to live.
For example
, to come out from stress and burdens
people
prefer to travel to different places and without
money
it is impossible.
Secondly
, family emotions are
also
important. If all family members are living happily together so with their positive vibes
people
can give
tough
Add an article
a tough
show examples
fight to the hard situations. In conclusion,
happiness
is
must
Add an article
a must
show examples
for all humans. Not only positive thinking but other factors like
money
and high standard
are
Change the verb form
also provides
show examples
also
provides
happiness
. I personally believe that
,
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apply
show examples
with
money
Add a comma
,money
show examples
everyone can live a very
happily
Replace the word
happy
show examples
life
.
Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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