People use too much phones nowadays, so they think they may have a negative influence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #influence

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Cell

phones

nowadays are one of the most essential components of

people

's lives.

People

spend much time on them

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apply

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so that there is a belief about

cell

phones

' negative impact on humanity. I agree with

this

belief

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apply

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because there were many conducted experiments which prove it and I've experienced

such

influence on myself. The

first

argument against

cell

phones

is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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cell

phones

distract

people

from their activities

such

as social interaction, work, and hobbies.

Consequently

, they gain less happiness and positive emotions. It is claimed that smartphones reduce the level of enjoyment.

In addition

, many

people

instead

of working or doing what they're passionate about just scroll the news feed

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show examples

social

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

medias

Correct your spelling

media

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or surf the internet for many hours without any goals.

This state exhaust

Change the determiner

This state exhaust person

These state exhaust people

show examples

people

and takes away

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apply

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diversity from their lives.

Furthermore

cell

phones

damage not only mental health

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apply

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but

also

physical state. They're very addictive.

People

don't move and hold their postures, stare at the monitors of their gadgets.

Thus

, they can cause problems with eyes, spine and neck aches. To sum up,

people

should be

carefully

Replace the adverb

careful

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with

usage

Add an article

the usage

show examples

of their

phones

in order to avoid their awful impact. There is plenty of methods that

assisst

Correct your spelling

assist

it.

For instance

, meditations, digital detox, walking outside, specific applications that restrict screen time.

Submitted by meruyet.zh on Mon Jun 07 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

217 words

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People use too much phones nowadays, so they think they may have a negative influence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science at university. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

Children’s behavior in schools is getting worse than before. Explain the causes and effects of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

Nowadays ,many parents put pressure on their children so that they excel in schools as well as in other extracurricular activities. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or a negative development for children?