People use too much phones nowadays, so they think they may have a negative influence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #influence

Cell

phones

nowadays are one of the most essential components of

people

's lives.

People

spend much time on them

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apply

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so that there is a belief about

cell

phones

' negative impact on humanity. I agree with

this

belief

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apply

show examples

because there were many conducted experiments which prove it and I've experienced

such

influence on myself. The

first

argument against

cell

phones

is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cell

phones

distract

people

from their activities

such

as social interaction, work, and hobbies.

Consequently

, they gain less happiness and positive emotions. It is claimed that smartphones reduce the level of enjoyment.

In addition

, many

people

instead

of working or doing what they're passionate about just scroll the news feed

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show examples

social

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

medias

Correct your spelling

media

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or surf the internet for many hours without any goals.

This state exhaust

Change the determiner

This state exhaust person

These state exhaust people

show examples

people

and takes away

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apply

show examples

diversity from their lives.

Furthermore

cell

phones

damage not only mental health

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apply

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but

also

physical state. They're very addictive.

People

don't move and hold their postures, stare at the monitors of their gadgets.

Thus

, they can cause problems with eyes, spine and neck aches. To sum up,

people

should be

carefully

Replace the adverb

careful

show examples

with

usage

Add an article

the usage

show examples

of their

phones

in order to avoid their awful impact. There is plenty of methods that

assisst

Correct your spelling

assist

it.

For instance

, meditations, digital detox, walking outside, specific applications that restrict screen time.

Submitted by meruyet.zh on Mon Jun 07 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People use too much phones nowadays, so they think they may have a negative influence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is high time men ceased to regard women as second class citizen . To what extant do you agree with this statement?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?