Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, a great deal of attention has been paid to the behaviour of prisoners. Some people insist that
criminals
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should be sent to
prison
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,
while
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others opine there are other solutions
such
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as encouraging them to work. In
this
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essay, I am going to discuss both views and examine the reason why I believe lawbreakers must be in jail.
To begin
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with, there are two reasons why people claim that
criminals
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should be in jail.
Firstly
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, the most important function of
prison
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is to isolate lawbreakers from
society
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. In fact, some murderers, who are recognized as "serial
killer
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killers
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", do not reglet and reconsider what they did, and they continue criminal
acts
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again and again.
Therefore
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, wrongdoers need to be isolated from citizens to keep
society
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safe.
In addition
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to
this
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, psychologically,
prison
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plays a role
of
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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proxy punishment.
For instance
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, citizens learn the gravity of offences and try not to commit criminal
acts
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, thanks to the existence of
prison
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.
On the other hand
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, others believe that
criminals
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should be given a chance to expand their talents and
potentials
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potential
show examples
for two reasons.
For example
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, juvenile
criminals
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often have relatively low IQ
level
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levels
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, and they engage in
violence
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violent
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acts
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since they are unable to tell right from wrong. Given
this
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situation, the youngsters deserve to be educated and reconsider. Another point is that there are
criminals
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who have special talents that can
utilize
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be utilised
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for
society
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.
For example
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, a cracker, who invades a network illegally, can be a hacker who has deep knowledge about the Internet and
computer
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computers
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.
To conclude
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, I believe both sides of the
arguments
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argument
show examples
have merits.
However
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, I opine that offenders should be sent to jail.
This
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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keeps
society
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safe and
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
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possible criminal
acts
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by maho.140126 on

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task response
The essay addresses both views, but could provide more specific examples and comprehensive ideas for each viewpoint to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more transition words and phrases to link ideas and demonstrate the relationship between different parts of the essay. Additionally, ensure that the logical structure is maintained throughout the essay to enhance clarity and coherence.
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