IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Nowadays people are spending more time away from home, because they spend longer time in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #time #home #workplace
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days the trend of extended working hours far from home by many people can be observed in our society. In my opinion, Its major advantage is related to the financial growth of a person; contrarily its drawback is the disturbance in personal life imposing
health
Use synonyms
issues
Use synonyms
. The utmost advantage of being available at a job for a longer period is financial growth. If an individual is headed more into
work
Use synonyms
, one can better mingle with the
work
Use synonyms
 environment, and definitely be able to not only improve his skills but
also
Linking Words
 learn new ones. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can
work
Use synonyms
 efficiently for a longer duration with better skills. As wages are directly proportional to the number of working hours and responsibilities held by a person; it may lead to more earning which enhances their purchasing power. To exemplify, the University survey has shown that 80% of employees are working for a long
time
Use synonyms
 just to increase their income and fulfil their luxury needs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, while we consider the repercussions of
this
Linking Words
 scenario, it is a disturbance in their personal life. The key reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is less
time
Use synonyms
 spent with family causes weak bonding among family members.
In other words
Linking Words
, there are more chances of conflicts with the partner or children, when they are not sharing their
issues
Use synonyms
 and spending quality
time
Use synonyms
 with each other.
As a result
Linking Words
, the person may undergo stress and anxiety, and even other mental
health
Use synonyms
issues
Use synonyms
 may occur
such
Linking Words
 as depression. To add to
this
Linking Words
, psychological
issues
Use synonyms
 generate other physical
health
Use synonyms
 problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, had my friend spent more
time
Use synonyms
 with his family, he wouldn't have gone through a divorce and suffering from depression. To summarise, it is asserted that people should
work
Use synonyms
 hard to earn more, but mostly it is done at the cost of the relationships with their near and dear ones. I believe that
although
Linking Words
 it is beneficial to
work
Use synonyms
 longer hours for financial growth, yet the demerit is disturbed family life of an individual which might lead to deteriorated
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Arun Saini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: