IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#today’s #world #companies #government #conduct #research
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, private
cooperations
Correct your spelling
corporations
show examples
 are fueling and conducting
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 advanced scientific
research
Use synonyms
 as compared to government entities. In my personal opinion, scientific
research
Use synonyms
 in private
companies
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 de-cypher my standpoint in detail. In
this
Linking Words
 age of internet and
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 networking, private
companies
Use synonyms
 are competing for scientific
research
Use synonyms
 grants in international markets, which helps them to improve with each project to set the highest
research
Use synonyms
 standards in the field of science. Private
companies
Use synonyms
 have streamlined standard operating procedures which are free from delays as compared
compared
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
to government entities which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them focus completely on
research
Use synonyms
 rather than operational issues.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Private
companies
Use synonyms
 have better
pays
Change the noun form
pay
show examples
 packages, employee trust and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 work environment which in turn help boost
productivity
Add an article
the productivity
show examples
 of the company.
Although
Linking Words
 private
companies
Use synonyms
 in their early stages lack market contacts
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
these
companies
Use synonyms
 take time to secure initial big projects and secure
client's
Fix the agreement mistake
clients'
show examples
 trust in the market. For that reason,
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 portion of private
companies
Use synonyms
 in their initial times run
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 financial problems or even bankruptcy.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
due to
Linking Words
vast
Correct article usage
the vast
show examples
 market and competitive salaries in
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
 sector,
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 do not usually stay for longer periods and change jobs frequently resulting in to
less
Correct word choice
smaller
show examples
 number of permanent employees. All in all, In conclusion, I think that private
companies
Use synonyms
 and way ahead of government entities in
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of scientific
research
Use synonyms
. They have
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 advanced
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, highly educated researchers and are more eager to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 and challenges.
Submitted by Bilal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay needs improvement to ensure a more logical flow of ideas and better organization of information.
task achievement
The essay needs to better address the question and provide a more comprehensive response that covers all aspects of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • groundbreaking technologies
  • efficiently allocate resources
  • innovative projects
  • strict timelines
  • profit motives
  • basic research
  • commercial application
  • corporate funding
  • biases in research
  • unbiased exploration
  • balanced exploration
  • public sector
  • private sector
  • synergy
  • comprehensive outcomes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: