More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #countries #effects

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Human beings have many problems, but one of the new ones might be the overweight of

children

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Although

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there was

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issue with malnutrition in the past, the opposite is happening now in the developed nations. In the following essay, I would argue the reasons and consequences of the issue of obesity of

children

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in developed nations.

First

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of all, the cause is that they intake nutrients exceedingly. As technology has been developed rapidly,

productivity

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the productivity

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of workers raised significantly.

Thus

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, they began to produce more and more and

this

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leads to over intake of nutrients for kids.

For example

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, unlike individuals in the previous world

ate

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who ate

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fruits and vegetables harvested

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their own farm, people recently tend to choose

mass produced

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mass-produced

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junky fast foods

such

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as hamburgers or hotdogs. To sum up, the trend of mass manufacturing and consumption is leading to the circumstance.

Second

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of all, the effects of

this

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phenomenon are problematic in several ways. It leads

children

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to be lifestyle diseases in the future. Since heart attack or stroke are because of obesity,

children

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who

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whom

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overweight have a high possibility to suffer from those diseases. If

this

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happens, not only the productivity decreases but

also

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the life expectancy would be lower. As a consequence, the country will lose its vitality. In my conclusion, the trend of mass production and consumption let the youth

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apply

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take too

much

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many

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nutrients and leads to be overweight.

Furthermore

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this

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is unfavourable because it leads to

loss

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the loss

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of the flourish of the nation.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Tue Jun 08 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

in many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside, Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis.Other people believe that world population is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both views and give your option.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?