IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

people's shopping habits depend more on the age group that they belong to then other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #habits #age #group #factors
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Purchase activities of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 are highly
associates
Wrong verb form
associated
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 with the category of
age
Use synonyms
 they belong.
Age
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
.The following paragraphs
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 shed light on both approaches before making a final note. To commence with the first notion there are myriads
things
Use synonyms
 to be shared in its favours, first and foremost requirements of
things
Use synonyms
 which requires in day to day life changes as per
age
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, individual requirements more
depends
Change the verb form
depend
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 on the
age
Use synonyms
 group they belong.
For example
Linking Words
,
Things
Use synonyms
 which are necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 school life might not be important at the university level, so shopping for those
things
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 reduced and as per
necessity
Add a comma
necessity,
show examples
 new
things
Use synonyms
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 added.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with respect to costume,
comfort
Correct word choice
and comfort
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, fashion gets a change in each category of
age
Use synonyms
. Human necessity and body structure evolved
as per
Change preposition
with
show examples
age
Use synonyms
, and so as the requirements in daily life. Shifting towards the second school of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
show examples
,
Linking Words
Also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
other
factors
Use synonyms
 do play
role
Correct article usage
a role
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 in shopping like profession and preferences. More often shopping depends on the career of the person
as well as
Linking Words
 the surrounding environment.
Although
Linking Words
 other
factors
Use synonyms
 are important
to build
Change preposition
in building
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
,
age
Use synonyms
 plays a very crucial part. There are secondary
factors
Use synonyms
 that evolved in purchase activity like suffering from disease, financial stability
as well as
Linking Words
 current needs. Hammering the
last
Linking Words
 nail, I personally feel that
age
Use synonyms
 is the more important factor in shopping as most of our needs depend on the
age
Use synonyms
 group we are living in. There are other
factors
Use synonyms
 as well which
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 involved in the process of shopping.
Submitted by niranjanchakankar88 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • digital natives
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • target demographic
  • disposable income
  • consumer behavior
  • market segmentation
  • purchasing power
  • retail therapy
  • brand loyalty
  • impulse buying
  • price-sensitive
  • cross-generational
What to do next:
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