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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #child #age #development
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In
this
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 modern era, most people plan to have a
first
Use synonyms
child
Use synonyms
 at a later age.
This
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trend
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 is common
popular
Correct word choice
and popular
show examples
 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. I believe that
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 status,
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
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 life, fullfill the needs
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
behind
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons. I think
this
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 improvement
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
To begin
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 with, most young people are delaying
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
first
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
child birth
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
 since their marriage because nowadays women have more
empowernment
Correct your spelling
empowerment
 unlike in the past. Late
perganancy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
 can lead to the parents
will become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mature person when they are
grownup
Correct your spelling
grown up
show examples
their
Change preposition
with their
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 children
as a result
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, they can
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
children's
show examples
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
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 and dreams.
For example
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,
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 countries new couples are postponed to their
parentshood
Correct your spelling
parents 'hood
 because they
first
Use synonyms
 settle
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
carre
Correct your spelling
career
 life after that they think about their new
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 plan.
This
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trend
Use synonyms
 gives mature fathers and mothers
bringup
Correct your spelling
bring up
bring
 to their babies with good knowledge and
expeience
Correct your spelling
experience
.
On the other hand
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, late
pregancy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
 brings more health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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such
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 as
diabets
Correct your spelling
diabetes
, miscarriage,
Correct word choice
and high-blood
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high-blood
Correct your spelling
high blood
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 pressure.
This
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trend
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 creates
generation
Correct article usage
a generation
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 gap between fathers and babies repercussion, the mothers do not understand
about
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apply
show examples
their
sons
Change noun form
son's
sons'
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thought
Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
show examples
 and
this
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is
Verb problem
apply
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always
making
Verb problem
creates
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 issues between both.
For example
Linking Words
, dealy
preganacy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
 affects fertility strength because after thirty age might be reduced fertility repercussion,
many
Correct word choice
and many
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 fertility centres have been starting. people should give
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 importance to their
first
Use synonyms
 kid like their career.
To conclude
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, the young fathers and mothers decide to delay
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 offspring certainly
gives
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 many health
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
 mother and toddler. I think
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more demerits
outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
show examples
 the merits. I hope
this
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trend
Use synonyms
 is inconducive for the next generation.
Therefore
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, folks do not postpone to their
first
Use synonyms
 toddler.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure, leading to confusion and ineffective communication of ideas. Logical progression and organization of information are not evident.
Task Achievement
The response does address the given topic, but the points made lack depth and development. The arguments are not clearly presented, and the ideas are not consistently clear and well-supported.
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