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Writing Samples
Band 7

Online shopping is now replacing shopping in the store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#store #development
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Nowadays, more and more
people
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 have become to use the Internet and related technologies. Some
people
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 insist that
people
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 more likely to shop things online rather than at real stores. I believe there are more merits than drawbacks because it helps
people
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 to save
time
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 and give them more opinions.
To begin
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 with, the
first
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 reason is that
people
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 are able to save
time
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 for shopping.
For example
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, online supermarkets help working mothers a lot. They used to have no
time
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 to shop
groceries
Change preposition
for groceries
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 since they had many chores that they needed to deal with.
In addition
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, some of them worked until late at night when supermarkets are
close
Replace the word
closed
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.
However
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, online groceries make it possible to purchase foods from anywhere and whenever they want, with a smartphone or a laptop.
Furthermore
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, some companies provide subscription services that deliver a certain amount of fruits and vegetables every month.
As a result
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,
people
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 need not
to
Remove the word
apply
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go
to shop
Change the verb form
shopping
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everyday
Change preposition
for everyday
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products
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. On top of that, another reason why I support online shopping is that that provides more options. In the 21st century,
people
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 can purchase
products
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 from all over the world thanks to the development of related services,
such
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 as Amazon.com and eBay, while there were only local
products
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, and the privileged
people
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 afford
to
Change preposition
apply
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goods from overseas for some decades ago.
Moreover
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, online shopping makes it possible to compare prices among the same
products
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, as well. To conclude, I believe that the merits of shopping via the Internet outweigh the demerits.
This
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 is because
this
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 saves
time
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 and gives more options.
Submitted by maho.140126 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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