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Band 7

Online shopping is now replacing shopping in the store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#store #development
Nowadays, more and more
people
 have become to use the Internet and related technologies. Some
people
 insist that
people
 more likely to shop things online rather than at real stores. I believe there are more merits than drawbacks because it helps
people
 to save
time
 and give them more opinions.
To begin
 with, the
first
 reason is that
people
 are able to save
time
 for shopping.
For example
, online supermarkets help working mothers a lot. They used to have no
time
 to shop
groceries
Change preposition
for groceries
show examples
 since they had many chores that they needed to deal with.
In addition
, some of them worked until late at night when supermarkets are
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
.
However
, online groceries make it possible to purchase foods from anywhere and whenever they want, with a smartphone or a laptop.
Furthermore
, some companies provide subscription services that deliver a certain amount of fruits and vegetables every month.
As a result
,
people
 need not
to
Remove the word
apply
show examples
go
to shop
Change the verb form
shopping
show examples
everyday
Change preposition
for everyday
show examples
products
. On top of that, another reason why I support online shopping is that that provides more options. In the 21st century,
people
 can purchase
products
 from all over the world thanks to the development of related services,
such
 as Amazon.com and eBay, while there were only local
products
, and the privileged
people
 afford
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
goods from overseas for some decades ago.
Moreover
, online shopping makes it possible to compare prices among the same
products
, as well. To conclude, I believe that the merits of shopping via the Internet outweigh the demerits.
This
 is because
this
 saves
time
 and gives more options.
Submitted by maho.140126 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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