Online shopping is now replacing shopping in the store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more

people

have become to use the Internet and related technologies. Some

people

insist that

people

more likely to shop things online rather than at real stores. I believe there are more merits than drawbacks because it helps

people

to save

time

and give them more opinions.

To begin

with, the

first

reason is that

people

are able to save

time

for shopping.

For example

, online supermarkets help working mothers a lot. They used to have no

time

to shop

groceries

Change preposition

for groceries

show examples

since they had many chores that they needed to deal with.

In addition

, some of them worked until late at night when supermarkets are

Replace the word

closed

show examples

However

, online groceries make it possible to purchase foods from anywhere and whenever they want, with a smartphone or a laptop.

Furthermore

, some companies provide subscription services that deliver a certain amount of fruits and vegetables every month.

As a result

people

need not

Remove the word

apply

show examples

to shop

Change the verb form

shopping

show examples

everyday

Change preposition

for everyday

show examples

products

. On top of that, another reason why I support online shopping is that that provides more options. In the 21st century,

people

can purchase

products

from all over the world thanks to the development of related services,

such

as Amazon.com and eBay, while there were only local

products

, and the privileged

people

afford

Change preposition

apply

show examples

goods from overseas for some decades ago.

Moreover

, online shopping makes it possible to compare prices among the same

products

, as well. To conclude, I believe that the merits of shopping via the Internet outweigh the demerits.

This

is because

this

saves

time

and gives more options.

Submitted by maho.140126 on Wed Jun 09 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Online shopping is now replacing shopping in the store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: •give details about the concert •describe how you won the tickets •explain why youʼve chosen your friend to go with you.

At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family.To that extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?