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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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In today’s world, many countries confront a dramatic decline in
population
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 in rural areas because residents tend to migrate to metropolitan regions. Personally, I firmly believe that
this
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 situation could have both positive and negative impacts on the countryside. On the one hand, depopulation in rural areas might have some advantages. The first thing worth mentioning is the environment. It could be cleaner because the
population
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 density declines.
In other words
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, the air would be fresher because the number of private vehicles diminishes when people leave these places, improving the health and well-being of people who choose to stay.
Moreover
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, job opportunities would scale up because of the shortage of experienced workforce. So skilled people could find a high-paying job in their hometowns, increasing their income to enhance the quality of life.
Nonetheless
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, there are severe drawbacks when the inhabitants escape from their hometowns to move to modern areas. First of all, it is evident that peasants make up the majority of the
population
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 in the countryside.
That is
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 why when they relocate to metropolises, the process of producing staple crops could be slow and disrupted.
Accordingly
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, it could harmfully influence a country’s chain of food.
Furthermore
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, leaving rural regions could cause these places to become abandoned, and the infrastructure,
such
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 as buildings, transport, and water supply, would deteriorate rapidly.
Therefore
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, the trading market in these places would stagnate significantly, leading to a downtrend in the country's economic growth rate. In conclusion, the reduction in
population
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 density in the countryside could have benefits, including the environment and job opportunities, and disadvantages,
such
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 as food supply and economic problems.
Submitted by Mads on

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relevant specific examples
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning a particular rural area or city and its experience with population movement could add depth to your argument.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph clearly expands on one main idea, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument. While the essay is generally well-organized, further refinement can improve coherence.
logical structure
The essay was well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The logical flow between paragraphs was commendable.
clear comprehensive ideas
You did a great job of presenting balanced views with both positive and negative aspects of rural depopulation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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