IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people think that government is wasting money on arts and that this money can be spent elsewhere.To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
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Some people think that the government is wasting money from the budget on
arts
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 and that
this
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 money can be spent elsewhere. I disagree with
this
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 crowd and consider
arts
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 are an important part of our humanity. At the
first
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, I think
art
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 is a crucial part of our social life and the government should finance streets museum and sustain independent artists. Nowadays, the number of artists are increasing steadily and gradually
also
Linking Words
art
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 is improving too.
Arts
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 develop the nation in a proper way and allow them to express their feelings. I am sure if the
arts
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 do not finance properly
then
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 our society will fade. The
second
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,
art
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 helps to show what is important or not. The government has already financed all sectors and the
art
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 sector is suffered from a lack of budget,
,
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apply
show examples
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 artists have to quit their hobby because they can not perform on exhibitions and show their works in other countries. In a nutshell,
art
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 is a significant part of our life and it allows society to express feelings properly. That's why the governments should spend more money on developing
art
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.
Submitted by PrimakovDen on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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