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Band 3.5

some people think that government is wasting money on arts and that this money can be spent elsewhere.To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
Some people think that the government is wasting money from the budget on
arts
 and that
this
 money can be spent elsewhere. I disagree with
this
 crowd and consider
arts
 are an important part of our humanity. At the
first
, I think
art
 is a crucial part of our social life and the government should finance streets museum and sustain independent artists. Nowadays, the number of artists are increasing steadily and gradually
also
art
 is improving too.
Arts
 develop the nation in a proper way and allow them to express their feelings. I am sure if the
arts
 do not finance properly
then
 our society will fade. The
second
,
art
 helps to show what is important or not. The government has already financed all sectors and the
art
 sector is suffered from a lack of budget,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 artists have to quit their hobby because they can not perform on exhibitions and show their works in other countries. In a nutshell,
art
 is a significant part of our life and it allows society to express feelings properly. That's why the governments should spend more money on developing
art
.
Submitted by PrimakovDen on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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