IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Discuss when ,if ever ,capital punishment can be viewed as a valid punishment for crime.

#punishment #crime
punishment
 is a key way to control and reducing the various crimes. Capital
punishment
 is valid for
brutal
Add an article
a brutal
the brutal
show examples
crime
 which committed by
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
show examples
.
However
, capital
punishment
 is not
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
punishment
 because no
one
 having
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 power to take anyone's life. So,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 essay will discuss valid and invalid reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 capital
punishment
. Capital
punishment
 is
one
 type of
punishment
, where
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or police officer are taking
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of the culprit. Capital
punishment
 is valid for those who are involved in
war
Add an article
a war
show examples
crime
, rape and because of
this
punishment
people
 are
feelings
Replace the word
feeling
show examples
 safe. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, In
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2012,
one
 criminal was doing
murder
Correct article usage
the murder
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
twenty
people
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a train and
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
government
 gave capital
punishment
 to
criminal
Add an article
the criminal
show examples
.
Moreover
,
this
punishment
 creating fear inside the offenders and they are not committing crimes.
This
punishment
 is helpful for maintaining peace in the world.
On the other hand
, capital
punishment
 is not beneficial and invalid
punishment
. Sometimes, without any proof
government
 gives
punishment
 to innocent
people
 who are not doing any type of
crime
. Nowadays,
dynamics
Correct article usage
the dynamics
show examples
 of society is completely
differ
Replace the word
different
show examples
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 yesteryear.
Government
 should give a
second
 chance to criminal to prove them.
Manytimes
Correct your spelling
Many times
, it
also
 affected adversely on teenager mind.
Moreover
, no
one
 having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
permission to kill
people
.
Law
Correct article usage
The Law
show examples
 of capital
punishment
 was from the
last
 few years but
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of
crime
 was not reducing. So,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make new laws and regulations
instead
 of capital
punishment
 for reducing brutal
crime
.
Government
 should educate and literate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every person to controlling
crime
. In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era, so many countries are against capital
punishment
. In conclusion, I am against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
capital
punishment
 and I think, it is not valid
punishment
. Today no
one
having
Change the form of the verb
has
show examples
 a fear of capital
punishment
. So,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
making
Change the verb form
make
be making
show examples
 some different strategies to reducing
crime
.
Submitted by kamaljeet9592396471 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: