IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

some students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #school
It is argued that learners get fruitful results if they receive prizes
instead
 of punishments. I agree with
this
 viewpoint but I believe that in some cases beating is genuine.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons behind
this
, the primary one is that rewards act as a motivation for tutees, for the sake of
this
, they burn the midnight oil to achieve more and more valuable prizes and it will result into as a boon for their entire life because they learn about the importance of work.
For example
, my cousin is in 6th standard and
last
 year he got a prize for his academic performance and by getting
this
 appreciation he got galvanise now he is doing a lot of preparation for attaining the
first
 position in his class.
In addition
 to it, with the help of small awards, weak students
also
 start participating in activities according to their taste and
this
 gives them the feeling of equality.
For example
, in Canadian schools, school members give gifts to all participants and it generates a sense of superiority and they try to give their hundred per cent.
On the other hand
, if students do unnecessary mistakes,
then
 abuse is compulsory for their better performance.
For example
, as per the survey conducted by the Indian Education Minister and he concluded that some students were not very serious about their studies but after giving physical torture they do better and it is
also
 beneficial for their holistic development. To conclude,
although
 prizes act as a motivation booster, minor scolding can have some results.
Submitted by kamaljeet9592396471 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: