IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure.

#parents #children #activities #time #pressure
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Some fathers and mothers believe that their
kids
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 should
user
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use
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 their spare
time
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 to do useful activities, while others think that doing so will put high stress on their
kids
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. In my opinion, youngsters
has
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have
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 a lot of free
time
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 and parents must optimize it in the most beneficial way. On the one hand, some fathers refuse to sign up their boys in classes or activities that could benefit them because they think that their
kids
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 should get free
time
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 to rest after the efforts they put in schools and morning classes.
In addition
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 to that, a kid can get attracted to
an
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apply
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activity and
loose
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lose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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concentration in his studies, which cause him to
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 marks at school.
For example
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, a student joining a math activity and finds himself attracted to numbers, would find himself
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
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 passion for other subjects, and
therefore
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 getting bad marks
at
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in
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 class.
On the other hand
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, other parents think that it is very important because boy and girls at
this
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 age have a lot of spare
time
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 and the best and effective way to use
this
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time
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 is to teach them new things that would help them build their personalities and benefit them in their studies and future.
For instance
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, a mother can register her son in a foreign language class so that he can learn a new language that enables him to get to know and interact with other cultures when he grows up.
Moreover
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, having children doing learning campaigns will help them socialize with other
kids
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 of their ages and
therefore
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 will improve their communication skills. To conclude, while some parents do not prefer to sign up their children for educational campaigns in their spare
time
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, other, including myself, strongly believe that having
kids
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 going educational activities is a must.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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