IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #health #care #education #responsibility #government #individuals
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 aduce that , the
government
Use synonyms
 should be the responsible for
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 of the individuals ,while, the opposites say that person is in charge of his or her own
health
Use synonyms
 and schooling.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that
government
Use synonyms
 plays an inevitable role in proving or paying for those facilities to the public. On the one hand , some
people
Use synonyms
 support the idea of
people
Use synonyms
 paying for their
health
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 because they think if individuals take charge of their
education
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 or
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 ,they will pay more attention to their
health
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 safety as well as they will try to
study
Use synonyms
 hard ,with the thinking of that they paid a high amount of fees to get to
study
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.
For example
Linking Words
: the students come to foreign countries to
study
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 and they work so hard to pay their institution fees .
this
Linking Words
 feeling of paying for their
education
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 encourages them to get better grades in their exams.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 claim that it is the responsibility of the
government
Use synonyms
 to provide
health
Use synonyms
 benefits and
education
Use synonyms
 to the public.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is not necessary that everyone is in a position to pay for their
education
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 and
health
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care
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 because
people
Use synonyms
 who are less affluent as well as who does not have jobs cannot pay their expenses ,albeit, they just drop off the idea of studying as well as they eat unhealthy which is cheaper just because of the shortage of money.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 pay so many kinds of tax like property tax , income tax so the funds benefit them as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by paying for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
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care
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 administration can earn a good reputation in
people
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 minds . To add to it, it will become a great opportunity for underprivileged folks to escape from poverty and
health
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 difficulties by leaning on the
government
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 budget To conclude that, it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their
study
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
 but , according to me
government
Use synonyms
 should pay for these facilities so that impoverished
people
Use synonyms
 can get benefits.
Submitted by kumarashish80541 on

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