Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.

#museums #charge #admission #people

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People are looking for entertainment from many places and platforms. Some people go to malls, yet others visit

Remove the preposition

apply

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museums

Use synonyms

. Even though

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we still have many

museums

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which are free of charge, many of the

museums

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are charging admission

fee

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from visitors. In my opinion, the objective of generating money from ticket

fee

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is not only for business profit

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apply

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but does

also

Linking Words

for the

museums

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and their employees.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

museums

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need to be protected and preserved since they collect arts and valuable

stuffs

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stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

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. They need to put extra protection in order to keep the collections original and to avoid any damages. Taking care of the assets

are

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not easy since they need special experts who understand how to keep the

museums

Use synonyms

' collections.

For example

Linking Words

, to care valuable paintings from Van Gough, Leonardo Da Vinci, or Blanco require special

currators

Correct your spelling

curators

to maintain the originality of the paintings. That's why

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apply

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preserving the

high value

Add a hyphen

high-value

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assets in the

museums

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need extra costs.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

museums

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do not only protect the valuable

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but does

also

Linking Words

their employees. Unlike some national

museums

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which are under government protection, the private

museums

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need money to run their business.

For example

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

meseums

Correct your spelling

museum

museums

workers are not civil servants and only depend on the

museums

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' profit from ticket

fee

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. That's why the

fee

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is important for the business ecosystem of

museums

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. To conclude, the admission

fee

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for several

museums

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is important and give some advantages for the

museums

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and their employees.

Submitted by hanizachri on Sat Jun 12 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Most people prefer ready to eat food outside of their home rather than homemade food nowadays. Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages?

Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they should challenge the old thoughts. Discuss both view and give your opinion.