IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #business #company #organization #reason
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Nowadays, being an entrepreneur is
worshiped
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worshipped
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 by many
of
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apply
show examples
young people. Some of them chose to be independent with their own ventures and decided
leaving
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to leave
show examples
 their employers. In my opinion, there is merit and
dismerit
Correct your spelling
demerit
 of
this
 decision since becoming a businessman is not only money and position. On one hand, I will talk about the benefit of being a
business
 owner.
The time
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Time
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 flexibility is one of the reasons why leaving a company and building an empire gives us more time than being
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
office worker. In the office, we need to follow the office
hours
 and many times, we work extra
hours
 if we have some workloads. In comparison, being an owner means you can calibrate the working
hours
 based on your
availibility
Correct your spelling
availability
.
For example
, content creators or digital nomads who are working in any places. They can adjust their
business
hours
 without any restriction from employers.
On the other hand
, if we choose to
developing
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develop
show examples
 a new
business
 venture, means we need employees to support and run the
business
.
Therefore
, our responsibility becomes
roboust
Correct your spelling
robust
 and as an owner, we need to manage our employees'
welfere
Correct your spelling
welfare
.
However
,
this
 could be a setback when your
business
 encounters financial issues.
For example
, many people become unemployed due to
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 recession during
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
 pandemic. So that, being an
enterprenur
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
 requires a big round plan to overcome obstacles. In conclusion to have own
business
 gives us more
felxibility
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 especially in times, which are consumed more while working in a company.
However
, a plan in financial is needed in order to secure the
business
 and the people who
also
 work for it.
Submitted by hanizachri on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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