Nowadays, there are more and more people suffering from health problems. Why people choose unhealthy lifestyle? How could we resolve this problem?

#people #health #lifestyle

Farming is

also

known as a backbone of a country, which is occupying by commercial

centres

on a large scale.

This

essay will discuss the main effects of growing business

centres

including, deterioration of ecosystem and shortage of

food

for people and

this

essay will

also

suggested

Change the verb form

suggest

show examples

two main solutions including, restriction on

trade

centres

and

land

Correct your spelling

landowners

show examples

owners

in the forthcoming paragraph. The expansion of industrial

centres

is detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

ecosystems.

Trade

centres

have lots of equipment of amenities like air conditioner and electricity generators, which may cause the emission of greenhouse gases. Greenhouse gasses are essential in sustaining a habitable temperature for the planet but

extra

Add an article

the extra

show examples

Correct your spelling

amount

show examples

mount

Correct your spelling

amount

show examples

of these gases is detrimental for life on earth. The conspicuous step toward

this

deleterious effect should be

stringent

Add an article

the stringent

a stringent

show examples

prohibition of commercial core on countryside

land

and mend

this

act as a law.

For instance

, as per a survey conducted by the Times of India, emissions of greenhouse gases had been increased by 80% from a number of growing business

scenters

Correct your spelling

centres

Furthermore

, an immense number of

trade

centres

on the

land

of farming can emerge the

food

crisis. If there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

land

for farming

then

cultivation of

food

product will be difficult. As for the solution,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should enforce a law of interdiction on selling and purchasing of farming

land

for both

agriculture

Replace the word

agricultural

show examples

land

Correct your spelling

landowners

show examples

owners

as well as commercial centre

owners

. A report published by

food

Correct article usage

the food

show examples

corporation authority stated that a countryside area of Maharashtra, in which 67%

farmers

Change preposition

of farmers

show examples

had sold their lands to commercial centre

owners

, had been facing

food

shortages. To conclude, it is absolute that increasing numbers of

trade

centres

are hazardous for

ecosystem

Correct article usage

the ecosystem

show examples

and for humans

thus

government should take strong and rigorous actions from time to time.

Submitted by upen.pathak8 on Sat Jun 12 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, there are more and more people suffering from health problems. Why people choose unhealthy lifestyle? How could we resolve this problem?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility?

Start here: in some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible.

Some people think governments should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.