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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, an interesting number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Several illnesses development are arising from people's unhealthy eating habits,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 due to junk food consumption and the accelerated lifestyle. Because of
this
Linking Words
 fact, someone claims it must be implemented additional duties over these restaurant's menu in
attempt
Add an article
an attempt
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 to diminish their intake. The paragraphs below will outline a strong agreement with
this
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 trend, as the population well-being must be prioritized.
To begin
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 with, the main reason why I consider fast-food chain services harmful for individuals health is their linkage with heart failure and diabetes.
For instance
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, it is widely known that fats and conservatives substances are major compounds in ready-to-eat meals, and have been considered a risk factor for atherosclerosis, which results in coronary heart disease, heart attack and death.
Moreover
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, the community maintains junk foods as part of a daily feeding schedule due to the convenience of having a
readly
Correct your spelling
readily
ready
really
 prepared meal to help during the insane working routine for affordable prices, which promotes
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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over buying
Correct your spelling
overbuying
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,
as a result
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.
Furthermore
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, I believe the government, as being responsible for society's basic needs,
such
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 as health, must discourage their acquirement, imposing higher fees on its purchase, in order to induce healthier eating choices. To illustrate
this
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, in the United States, natural food option restaurants
tends
Change the verb form
tend
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 to have bigger prices than junk-food ones, which are quite affordable, leading people to opt for the latest one.
Therefore
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, knowing both the drawbacks of keeping an unhealthy habit and increasing taxation over
ready-to-eat
Correct article usage
the ready-to-eat
show examples
 option would change
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 opinion. To summarize, I utterly agree with the increased taxation in these restaurants' menu, because of its negatives outcomes on people's well-being. As a matter of fact, imposing more duties would discourage wage workers to maintain
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 consumption as
day-to-day
Add an article
a day-to-day
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 habit, as it would cost them more.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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