IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

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Food
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The food
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industry
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 has become an important matter in a country. Several foods are imported from other countries and some people believe that consuming local
food
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 is advantageous regarding the environment and financially. Even though there are two considerable perspectives, I believe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of having foods commercialised outweigh
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
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.
To begin
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 with, hardly are the countries where is feasible to produce various nutritious
food
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. Some places do not have
a
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apply
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fertile soil neither enough source of water. These aspects are highly important to have
a
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apply
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prosperous agriculture,
therefore
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 they must import some vegetables,
for instance
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. More than that, commercialising certain commodities plays an important role in a country’s economy. In Brazil,
for instance
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, a considerable amount of the nation’s annual income comes from several commodities which are shipped worldwide
such
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 as beans, orange and meat.
Consequently
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,
a
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apply
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food
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industry
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 is highly developed locally which may attract investment ad provide countless
of
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apply
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jobs.
On the other hand
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, some disadvantages need to be considerable. Since an
aliment
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ailment
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 is imported, its price tends to be unaffordable by
local
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the local
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 community and more money they need to spend to eat. Normally the government applies higher taxes to imported goods, which
also
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 contributes to the final price. The final consumer who is buying a product will pay for all costs.
Furthermore
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, to achieve exportation requirements, the
industry
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 needs to invest
into
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in
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 soil exploitation, and it does not contribute to the local ecosystem. Unfortunately, goods shipping might be the most important country’s source of income,
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however
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,however
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this
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 behaviour may give the soil unprecedented damage and perhaps, making it useless.
Hence
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 to conclude,
although
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 there are considerable disadvantages of
food
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 shipment and its massive
industry
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, I believe that advantages overcome all negatives consequences and each country must seek
variation
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a variation
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 of aliments to its population as well as an
industry
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 development that contributes to broad employment.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
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