Some people say that we should not encourage sport games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extend do you agree or disagree with?
Nowadays, every school and college are focusing on increased sports and cultural activities.
This
not only increases the student's focus but also
helps them to find their hidden talent. Although
, some people think that Correct word choice
However
due to
this
students are becoming more competitive rather than being
Unnecessary verb
apply
co-operative
. In my view, it could have both positive and negative Correct your spelling
cooperative
impact
on a child. We will discuss both views in the essay.
On the Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
one
hand, I think these increased sports activities make the student more competitive as well teaches
them how to develop teamwork. Correct word choice
as teaches
For example
, basketball
, Change preposition
in basketball
this
game
teaches players
to develop skills as well Correct word choice
as co-ordination
co-ordination
among the other Correct your spelling
coordination
players
to pass the ball and shoot the basket. Moreover
, this
game
is not just one
Correct determiner usage
a
player
Correct your spelling
one-player
game
, everyone in the game
has to contribute to the game
in order to win. In addition
to this
, playing more sports makes them develop sportsmanship, determination, teamwork, cooperation with other teammates etc.
On the other hand
, I think some people take the game
to be competitive and do not learn anything from the game
. For instance
, if one
player is very talented and if he thinks that he just wants to beat other players
by himself then
he will never be able to learn anything from the game
. I had one
friend, who was extremely talented in playing basketball while
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
players
in the team were average. In one
game
he tried to carry the game
by himself and did not pass to his teammates. We lost the game
because he never took help from his own team. Because, he did not know how to coordinate with his team, he was just competing against other players
.
In conclusion, although
, there are some disadvantages of
having more gaming activities it has more advantages. If a student plays more games there are more chances of him/her learning different good traits.Change preposition
to
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task response
Expand the introduction to provide a clear opinion to the given prompt and address both parts of the question (agree and disagree). Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point and follows a clear structure (introduction, body, conclusion).
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that there is a more consistent use of cohesive devices such as transition words and linking phrases to improve the overall coherence and cohesion. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and accuracy to convey meaning effectively.
grammatical range
Review the use of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical constructions. Aim to demonstrate more accuracy and range in sentence structures, including the use of different verb tenses and sentence types.