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Band 5.5

Nowadays, many people use the Internet to get medical advice instead of going to see a doctor. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, Internet has a big role in almost every aspect of life.
People
Use synonyms
 tend to search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
answers about their health problems through online platforms. In my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 is not a good way to take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
consideration to a proper diagnosis.
Body paragraph 1
The online solution in finding medical treatment is a new trend in our society.
People
Use synonyms
 diagnosed over what they browse through
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
. They do not even read through scientific articles in journals, but often only follow
people
Use synonyms
's experiences written on Google.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, innovation
such
Linking Words
 as applications that provide online consultation to take a diagnosis has changed the way. Most
people
Use synonyms
 do
this
Linking Words
 because they think it is more effective and can save time in their hectic days rather than to travel to the hospital to get a physical visit by a doctor.
However
Linking Words
, direct examination by a doctor is not something that can be exchanged for that.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
Linking Words
, I believe it will be better for
medical
Add an article
a medical
the medical
show examples
 practitioner to have a closer look at the disease to provide valid consultation.
For example
Linking Words
, if we have
Correct article usage
a rush
show examples
rush
Change the verb form
rushed
show examples
 in our body
then
Linking Words
 search what kind of disease is causing
this
Linking Words
, there will be many choices. But, if we come to a clinic to see the doctors and the nurses, they have the ability to examine what kind of rush do we have and find the other factors
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
 cause that symptom. They will help to see the whole picture of the patient and recommend additional examinations
such
Linking Words
 as laboratory if needed. Even more, the doctor can prescribe the right medicine and treat
appropriately
Correct pronoun usage
it appropriately
show examples
 according to the diagnosis.
This
Linking Words
 is a vital thing in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
 world.
Conclusion
To sum up, I strongly believe the direct examination with physical presence from the health practitioner to get
a proper medical advice
Remove the article
proper medical advice
a piece of proper medical advice
a bit of proper medical advice
show examples
 is the best for our health.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telemedicine
  • Anonymity
  • Healthcare professionals
  • Second opinions
  • Remote access
  • Digital platforms
  • Self-diagnosis
  • Convenience
  • Privacy concerns
  • Cost-effective
  • Health empowerment
  • Chronic conditions
  • Cyberchondria
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