Some people think that preventive measures are the best bet against a pandemic; others however believe that our attention and resources should be diverted to medical interventions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals deem that the best way to cope with a

pandemic

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is to take preventive

measures

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while

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others argue that more focus and efforts need to be invested in medical treatments. I am more convinced by the idea of taking preventive

measures

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because it is an easier way for the public to implement and a more economical option for the government.

Firstly

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, it does not take much time and energy for the public to do. Precautions are normally simple things that we are capable of.

For instance

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, we were told to stay at home and to wear a mask when we went out

while

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COVID-19 was prevalent.

In addition

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, we can stay away from tropical fever by simply cleaning up our surroundings, as long as mosquitoes have no places to lay eggs, we are safe. Simple precautions not only protect us from contagious diseases but

also

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save others.

Secondly

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, it saves our taxes. When a

pandemic

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rages, the governments have to pay for the vaccines; and if there are no vaccines, more money and time need to be invested into research for a solution.

Moreover

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, relief packages need to be offered by the government

due to

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the recession caused by the

pandemic

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Nonetheless

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, if preventive

measures

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had been taken before the

pandemic

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happened, many negative situations could have been avoided. Some people consider that we should put more focus on medical research in case of a

pandemic

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Nevertheless

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, we can never know what kind of disease we are dealing with until someone has it.

Besides

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, sometimes people die before a solution is found. So I reckon preventive

measures

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are more practical and necessary. In conclusion, we should always choose a solution that can benefit the majority of us. Simple preventive

measures

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are feasible and cheap for both the poor and the rich. No one in the world wants to be sick,

thus

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, I reckon

this

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is the best method for us to fight against the

pandemic

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wendy190427Wed Aug 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

In the second body paragraph, the transition from discussing preventive measures to addressing medical interventions could be smoother. Consider using a transitional phrase or sentence to better connect the two ideas.

task achievement

The argument against focusing on medical research is briefly touched upon. Strengthening this part with more details or examples, and explaining why preventive measures could be more reliable, will provide a more balanced discussion.

task achievement

While the essay argues well for preventive measures, adding more varied examples to support both views can enhance the explanation and make it more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize the main argument, providing a good overview of the essay’s stance.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents logical and coherent arguments in support of preventive measures, making it easy for readers to follow.

task achievement

Specific examples such as the COVID-19 and keeping surroundings clean to avoid tropical fever are relevant and help support the main points effectively.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

327 words

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