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Band 5.5

Many people say that smoking should be banned while others say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this?

#people #idea
Many people opinion that smoking is injurious to health and is prohibited in India. While others disagree with
this
. I will discuss both opinions and followed by my opinion. On one hand, it is not healthy for our generation and leads to many serious health problems
such
 as lung cancer. Youth have a habit of
this
 and they will not change it because they think that smoking gives them a stress
reliver
Correct your spelling
reliever
 and calm their anxiety
besides
 that it is not only in any medical record.
However
, smoking could
also
 have a severe threat to passive smokers.
For instance
, some doctors
investage
Correct your spelling
investing
investigate
 that who
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not smoke but inhale the smoke of
smokersmay
Correct your spelling
smokers may
 have a possibility of lung cancer.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, many men and women think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking should be banned entirely, as it severely
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
 both active and passive smokers.
On the other hand
, many people against
this
 idea
firstly
, they think that everybody has
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 right to do things they like. Smoking is
preference
Add an article
a preference
the preference
show examples
, and it is up to the individual
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 they would like to smoke or not. If
this
 is the situation
then
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should take steps and make a
compgain
Correct your spelling
complain
complaint
campaign
 of smoking.
Secondly
 Prohibiting smoking will
also
 affect the financial condition as
cigrattes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
 mills
absorbs
Change the verb form
absorb
show examples
 so many workers. If smoking is wholly banned,
theen
Correct your spelling
then
 a number of factories will be closed and will lead to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 unemployment rate. In my view, I support the
nation
Correct your spelling
notion
show examples
 that smoking should be banned in all areas because smoking is harmful to our health.
However
, before implementing the idea, the government has to have an alternative plan for the
cigratte
Correct your spelling
cigarette
 factories workers because they may be unemployed. The authorities could enlarge and
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
 a new platform,
therefore
 workers could be allocated to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 area.
Submitted by parneetdhindsa12 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative health effects
  • personal freedom
  • illegal trade
  • smuggling
  • regulate
  • designated
  • non-smokers
What to do next:
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