IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #terms #prison #crime #rate
Throughout history, criminal activities have been invariably one of the most vexing problems to deal with. Nowadays, with a view to declining the incidence of
crime
, it is proposed that people committing crimes ought to be punished with longer jail
time
. From my perspective, I do not subscribe to
this
 school of thought. Granted, the government in different countries in the world has passed new legislation against lawless behaviours by increasing jail
time
 for criminals with an aspiration that criminal activities would be curbed and from that, reducing the
crime
 rate.
However
,
this
 hope is unrealistic because ,in recent years, the incidence of
crime
 does not show the sign of declining regardless of a stricter punishment. Take America as an example.
This
 nation is one of the ones enforcing the most stringent criminal laws,
therefore
, criminals will be punished with extremely long jail
time
 if they violate those laws but lawless behaviours are still occurring, posing potential and dire threats to America's social order.
In addition
, many types of research have proved that one of the best panaceas for staving illegal actions off is raising people’s awareness of the negative consequences of becoming a criminal. It should be known that if they get involved in
crime
-committed types
such
 as drug trafficking or homicide, they will forfeit the basic rights of a citizen including spending
time
 with their family members or not having the chances to move up their career ladders. I strongly believe that
this
 solution is aimed at the general people’s minds when they do not want to lose things that belong to them, consisting of family and career. In conclusion, with all the reasons mentioned above, I suppose that it is unnecessary to give longer terms in prison to decrease the incidence of
crime
,
instead
, changing people’s minds about
this
 problem would be a wiser idea.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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