IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been a controversial issue whether
people
Use synonyms
 should pay for entrance tickets to
museums
Use synonyms
 or not. From my perspective, there will be more benefits than drawbacks if
museums
Use synonyms
 are not free for their audiences. There may be some benefits if
museums
Use synonyms
 become free for all visitors. When it comes to motivation , from time to time individuals who are under financial problems regret visiting
museums
Use synonyms
 due to the price of public places’ tickets. It seems that when
people
Use synonyms
 are allowed to visit
museums
Use synonyms
 without paying
money
Use synonyms
, they would be more enthusiastic to establish a time during their journey for visiting public places
such
Linking Words
 as
museums
Use synonyms
. It may be more ethical if both wealthy and poor
people
Use synonyms
 have the same opportunity to visit
museums
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, from my view, it would be more beneficial to charge
museums
Use synonyms
 for admission.
Although
Linking Words
 from morality issues,
museums
Use synonyms
 should be free for all
people
Use synonyms
, when it comes to financial perspective, preserving traditional art crafts
such
Linking Words
 as valuable paintings and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
 are expensive.
Museums
Use synonyms
 need
money
Use synonyms
 to protect these historical materials against thefts. Earning
money
Use synonyms
 from selling entrance tickets may enable
museums
Use synonyms
 to pay their current costs and tackle their financial problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, developing countries that have a low level of industrialization generally invest a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 into attracting tourists. They hope to improve their economy by the
money
Use synonyms
 that they earn from tourists’ attraction places
such
Linking Words
 as
museums
Use synonyms
. By establishing free
museums
Use synonyms
, these nations are less likely to benefit from tourists. All in all, in my view, countries’
museums
Use synonyms
 should not be free, regarding the points mentioned above, charging
people
Use synonyms
 with entrance fee may be more beneficial for the museum and the economy of the host country.
Submitted by maryamhfhf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: