IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is necessary to use animals for testing medicines intended for human use, while others argue that it is cruel to do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #medicines
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Testing of
medicines
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 and cosmetics on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animals
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 has been
prevelant
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prevalent
since
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for
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 a very long time . The
animals
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 are tortured and deprived of their natural habitats in
order
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 to
test
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 these products . While some believe it is cruel to
test
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medicines
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 on
the
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
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 others argue that it is the only way in
order
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 to save
the
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apply
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mankind from ever
incraesing
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increasing
 diseases and viruses.
Its
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It's
It is
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 important to analyse the two opinions in
order
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 to come to a conclusion. There are people and NGO's who feel that testing
of
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apply
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medicines
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 on
animals
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 not only deprives them of their natural habitat but
also
Linking Words
 puts them in
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life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
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 situation.
For instance
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 , to
test
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 certain specific
medicines
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 certain species are made to go through various emotions. These
animals
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 are over-worked and
also
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 at times cut off food so as to
test
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 them in extreme conditions. In case an animal cant the take the adverse environment created during these medical
tests
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 and tend to lose control , it can
also
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 be killed.
The
Correct article usage
Life
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life
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 should be valued irrespective of
if
Correct your spelling
it
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 belongs
of
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apply
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to
animal
Correct article usage
an animal
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 or a human.
On the contrary
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 , certain people feel that these animal
tests
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 are a necessity.
Its
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It's
It is
show examples
 a long process to come up with a new
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life saving
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life-saving
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 medicine and in
order
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 to expedite the process animal testing is important. Certain members of the medical fraternity feel that most of these clinical trials are safe and are part of a later stage of testing. In the absence of these
tests
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 , saving human
life
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 from
the
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apply
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new and unknown diseases becomes difficult.
Hence
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 in
order
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 to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity from
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life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
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 diseases ,controlled animal testing is important. In my opinion , looking at the adversities caused by these
tests
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animals
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 , animal testing should be banned. During the various stages of these testing , the
animals
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 go through various induced emotions which tortures them.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 other testing alternatives
such
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 as "In vitro testing" where human cells and tissues are modelled , should be explored.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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