IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
Until what
age
 should individuals should work is a debatable issue that many
people
 argued that individuals should stop working when reaching the
age
 of
retirement
 while others disagree. In
this
 essay , I will discuss both views and give examples below. There is no doubt that old ages
people
 who have a lot of experience are very useful for any
company
,
This
 is because they almost spend more than twenty-five years working in the same field and have many skills and knowledge that the
company
 need .
In addition
 , the best example of
this
 is , when the
company
 hire new employees to work on a project
then
 guiding and coaching which will be by
people
 who have the experience.
As a result
 of
this
 , the
company
 and the new employees will get some benefits from the old ages
people
 so the firm will grow and workers will have a steady
job
.
Therefore
 , it is clear that it is not a great idea that should
people
 stop working when reaching the
age
 of
retirement
.
On the other hand
 , nowadays there are many unemployments which they cannot find a
job
.
This
 is because many
people
 reach the
age
 of
retirement
 but they still working
Add an article
a
show examples
full-time
job
.
Also
 , the best example of
this
 is , in Saudi Arabia the numbers of unemployment is increasing more and more each year, so the government ordered all
people
 who reach the
retirement
age
 to quit their
job
.
As a result
 of
this
 , many opportunities appear for the new generation which reduces the number of unemployed
people
. In conclusion, there is a great benefit to have some old ages in the
company
 because of their experiences
however
, it might lead to fewer opportunities for new generations .
Submitted by ms.056 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: