IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
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Until what
age
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 should individuals should work is a debatable issue that many
people
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 argued that individuals should stop working when reaching the
age
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 of
retirement
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 while others disagree. In
this
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 essay , I will discuss both views and give examples below. There is no doubt that old ages
people
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 who have a lot of experience are very useful for any
company
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,
This
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 is because they almost spend more than twenty-five years working in the same field and have many skills and knowledge that the
company
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 need .
In addition
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 , the best example of
this
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 is , when the
company
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 hire new employees to work on a project
then
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 guiding and coaching which will be by
people
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 who have the experience.
As a result
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 of
this
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 , the
company
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 and the new employees will get some benefits from the old ages
people
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 so the firm will grow and workers will have a steady
job
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.
Therefore
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 , it is clear that it is not a great idea that should
people
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 stop working when reaching the
age
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 of
retirement
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.
On the other hand
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 , nowadays there are many unemployments which they cannot find a
job
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.
This
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 is because many
people
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 reach the
age
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 of
retirement
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 but they still working
Add an article
a
show examples
full-time
job
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.
Also
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 , the best example of
this
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 is , in Saudi Arabia the numbers of unemployment is increasing more and more each year, so the government ordered all
people
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 who reach the
retirement
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age
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 to quit their
job
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.
As a result
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 of
this
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 , many opportunities appear for the new generation which reduces the number of unemployed
people
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. In conclusion, there is a great benefit to have some old ages in the
company
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 because of their experiences
however
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, it might lead to fewer opportunities for new generations .
Submitted by ms.056 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • financial security
  • physical and mental health
  • youth unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • fresh perspectives
  • hobbies and interests
  • passionate workers
  • flexible retirement options
  • social security
  • recuperate
  • decades of hard work
  • contribute skills and experience
  • financial difficulties
What to do next:
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