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Band 5.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
It is sometimes argued that it is
parents
’ obligation to teach their young to become a proper
citizen
,while others claimed that
school
 has the
responsibility
 to teach
children
 related to being a good
citizen
.Truth be told,I think
bo th
Correct your spelling
both
show examples
 should be integrated
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since both two ideas are beneficial.
Firstly
,
parents
 are the largest part of
children
’s education because they are the people who stay around their
children
 most of the time.
Parents
’
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and value affect fundamentally in
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and values of
children
 even when they are not aware,so if
parents
 did not do their job well to teach their
children
 to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper person of the society,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 would able to help none no matter how hard they strive.
Second
,unlike educational institutions,to teach their
children
this
 is more convenient and productive for
parents
 to do so.
Finally
,every mother and father have the
responsibility
 educate their offspring
this
,since it is the duty they must perform for being a
citizen
 of the society and it is the natural job for them to educate their
children
this
 for they are
parents
.
Although
parents
’ job of teaching their young to be a good member of the society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more fundamental and important,it is
also
 the
responsibility
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 educational institutions.The place where
children
 spend the
second
 most of their childhood
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
school
,so
school
’s education has a major effect on
children
.There are numbers of articles related
how
Change preposition
to how
show examples
 the attitude of
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
show examples
 and the environment of
school
 impact
children
’s mind.
However
,
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 must pay more price to educate
children
 to be
a honourable men
Correct the article-noun agreement
an honourable man
honourable men
show examples
 of the country,since there are a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 students and they must pay a great deal of expense on
this
. In sum,
parents
 should take most of the
responsibility
 to cultivate their
children
 to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper
citizen
 of the country,and schools have the
second
 major duty in doing
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since schools’ impacts on
children
 just cannot be ignored.
Submitted by Antony on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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