More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

As a creature becomes extinct, it will never return as the dinosaurs were so.

Furthermore

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, since each living creature is closely related to the other in nature, the extinction of one creature can collapse the balance of the ecosystem and have a great impact on the whole natural environment.

First

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of all, there are many factors that threaten the habitats of animals but the most significant one might be human activities.

For example

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, the area of ice in the northern part of the world is shrinking;

therefore

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, the number of polar bears is decreasing and there is a risk of vanishing on the earth.

Furthermore

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, gorillas are

also

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on the endangered list and the case is the destruction of their habitat. As humans developed the land for the use of their living or constructing factories, the forests and jungles are destroyed. To sum up, it is obvious that humans are causing

this

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problem significantly.

Secondly

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, the way to tackle

this

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issue might be to raise awareness among individuals. Since many people are not familiar with

this

Linking Words

problem, by letting them know how it is crucial, they can think about how they can protect the animals and make an action. Volunteering activities are a good example. Since pollution is

also

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a significant factor of animal disappearance, as volunteers gather a certain amount of people and clean seashore or reduce rubbish in forests,

this

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may foster an awareness of the issue and

also

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actually leads to an improvement. In conclusion, I believe that the reason for the endangerment of many animal species is a negative impact on the environment because of human activities.

This

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could be tackled by increasing awareness among people in society and let them take an action.

dokmally2

Jun 15, 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent to do you agree or disgaree ?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the best way to reduce the gap between the rich and poor is through government intervention, while others believe that it is better to leave it to the free market. Discuss both views and give your opinion.