Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nobody can deny that some careers skills are valuable for
children
, at least in cases in which they can gain experiences and be paid reasonably. For some people,
hHowever
Correct your spelling
however
, it is by no means clear that
children
should be encouraged to have a job.
This
essay will discuss both of these facets as well as present my own opinion. On the one hand, Being employed at a young
age
is likely to increase the chance of achieving financial independence.
increasedoing
Correct your spelling
increase doing
jobs at a young
age
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
financial independence.
This
means that
children
will no longer have to rely solely on their parents or guardians as they will be able to afford their daily life by themselves, reducing financial burdens
such
as university funding on their parents.
In addition
to
this
, these
children
will advance swiftly in their chosen career paths. Working for an establishment at
younger
Add an article
a younger
show examples
age
from a very early
age
tends to provide them more insight into the of the company, make them know within that company and
therefore
be more employable
subsequently
such
that in a case they have to go back to complete their studies and after graduation, they already have greater chances to be employed back to that
workplacecompany
Correct your spelling
workplace company
.
On the other hand
, paid employment for adolescents could make them lose control
ofon
Correct your spelling
of
spending.
This
can be explained
that is
because unlimited access to money
mightcan
Correct your spelling
might can
might
promote buying unawareness,
hence
impaired saving culture.
For instance
, a survey in a popular university showed that the majority of those students
drivingthat
Correct your spelling
driving that
drive unnecessary luxury cars are not those from wealthy backgrounds,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
they are the ones
workingthose
Correct your spelling
working those
that worked at younger ages while growing up.
Secondly
, should those
children
continuously make keep making an effort
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their work, their education will be under-performed. Most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, they have to work while studying, and
this
which could lead to a reduced attention span in matters relating to their studies
;,
Change the punctuation
;
,
show examples
subsequently
, they may feel bored in learning and give up. In my opinion, I agree that
children
should completely concentrate on their studies
instead
of working as it's more crucial for their future.
Submitted by Eteacher on

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
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