Some people think that criminals should be given longer term imprisonment, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

crime
is a serious problem in all countries. nowadays,
crime
increase rapidly in our life. Few locals believe that to decrease the rate of
crime
it is necessary for criminals to give them long punishments.
Although
, I agree and believe that given
longer term
Add a hyphen
longer-term
show examples
prison to the criminal is beneficial, in some cases alternative ways are better. I will discuss both the aspects in
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
show examples
essay. On the one hand, there are several benefits of long term
imprisoment
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
to
tacke
Correct your spelling
tackle
take
this
issue.
In other words
, big punishments are necessary for those who do serious crimes
such
as murder,
voilence
Correct your spelling
violence
and so on.
Therefore
, offenders are not made to mix with society. Lifetime punishment
discourage
Change the verb form
discourages
show examples
people to do
cime
Correct your spelling
time
as a result
they think twice before attempting
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
. They get an
oppurtinity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to rehabilitation that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
available inside the jail.
Furthermore
, spending time in
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
prisonment
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
to rethink what they did and
then
they realize his or her guilty. Longer prisons
strikes
Change the verb form
strike
show examples
fear in the heart of people.
On the other hand
, there are better alternative ways
instead
of
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
punishment
such
as education training and so which offenders do minor mistakes
likewise
shop lifter
Correct your spelling
shoplifter
show examples
,
pick pockets
Correct your spelling
pickpockets
show examples
etc. It is not good for those people, if they leave with serious criminals
then
they become characterwise bad
consequently
they do not improve their character. They get wrong information and guidance from other criminals if government spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their education and training
then
they give positive feedback to society
for example
they help in constructing the building and as a farmer in harvesting.
Tu
Correct your spelling
To
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conclude
Change the verb form
concludes
show examples
, there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of benefits for lifetime punishment. I agree with
this
statement, in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
alternative way is better for minor mistakes.
Submitted by The Teaching Desk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitate
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • penalties
  • violate
  • root causes
  • reintegrate
  • recidivism
  • financial burden
  • crime prevention measures
  • overcrowding
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