Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

this

,essay we are going to discuss if is good for teenagers to receive talks about the dangers of committing a crime from

people

that have been in prison.

Firstly

, I think that these ex-convicts that have turned into good

people

will try to do their best in teaching the students why they have to avoid illegal situations.

Secondly

, these

people

that want to show the dangers of breaking the law will know better what are the risks because they had experienced

this

. With

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

I mean that they can tell what are the reasons that usually push someone to do these crimes. Apart from their personal stories they probably have met more

people

that were in similar situations but had a different ending

this

can be very good to show the teenagers that breaking the law may end in the worst possible way.

Also

, for the students is good to see that when their parents or teachers advise them to avoid

this

dangerous life is for a good reason and they can see what can happen to them.

On the other hand

, these

people

are not trained to teach so maybe they don't know how to tell what are the dangers. So I am of the opinion that bringing

people

that have committed crimes to talk what are the risks of not follow the law is the best way to convince them.

Submitted by alvarobsaavedra on Wed Jun 16 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries , the number of animals and plants is declining . Why do you think this is happening ? How can this issue be solved ?

Some people think certain prisoner should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?