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Band 4.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
In
this
 contemporary era, It is irrefutable that small nations parents are encouraging young
children
 to
work
 and suggest them to
work
 in their study field to gain some experience and few of them are forcing
children
 due to the family conditions while others are giving them
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 advice to take a break and go for a
trip
 with their friends to learn the outside culture and know the things around you. I strongly towards the former notion. In
this
 essay, I will explain the advantages and disadvantages in detail with examples. To commence with, Most of the masses are motivating
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation towards the working culture and to understand the world.
Moreover
, Few
families
 need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial
support
 from their
children
's to
support
 them to do some
work
. If they are going for a
trip
 after completing high school
instead
 of doing
work
then
 how their
families
 survive.
For example
, In small
families
 having dependence on elder son like after finishing his education he can
support
 their parent financially.
However
, Doing
work
 teenagers learn and understand the problems very well
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a small age.
On the other hand
, Well settled people
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 after finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school their
children
's will go for a world
trip
 rather finding a job. Why because they don't have any money problem and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the
families
Add the preposition
toowing
show examples
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 their own businesses. They know after them their child will handle their family businesses.
In addition
,
children
 do not want to do any kind of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job.
For instance
, In small nations as well having rich human beings and they don't want
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their young generation to
work
 or struggle for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work
. That's why they send them for a
trip
 to know after the different culture and learn something new. In Conclusion, It
is totally depend
Change the verb form
totally depends
show examples
 on the situation of the
families
 status. Few of them are encourage their young generation for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work
 to
support
 family,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
 other
families
 send them for a
trip
 to understand and learn the different tradition. In my opinion, Everything depends on your family status and requirement whether you need to do a job or travel and enjoy our life.
Submitted by Chandan Kumar Singh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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