Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their time?

#people #children #time #school #work

Play is an important part of Kid's life. Giving too much free

time

to children is not tolerated by some people. Depriving them

from

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show examples

sports or enjoying free

time

will affect their

development

as a whole. In

this

essay, I will throw some light on the way

kids

should spend their

time

. As you know, most

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apply

show examples

parents

Add an article

the parents

show examples

are working and are having less

time

for

kids

Correct pronoun usage

their kids

show examples

Kids

always feel safe and free along with their

parents

. Group of people believe that giving too much free

time

will affect the personal

development

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

. Rather, they should spend

time

on studies

instead

of games. Playing sports help in kid's brain

development

and makes them competitive. Of course, too much play is harmful and non-productive. Some part of day's

time

must

be spend

Change the verb form

be spent

show examples

school

work

. I strongly believe that excessive involvement of

kids

in completing

school

Correct your spelling

homework

show examples

home

Correct your spelling

homework

show examples

work

is too boring for

kids

, rather dangerous. In my opinion, Children should spend half of their after

school

time

class

Correct your spelling

classwork

show examples

work

and

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

other

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another

show examples

half in playing or doing some pleasure

work

. It will keep

parents

satisfied and happy.

This

will enhance the

mind

Replace the word

mental

show examples

development

of the children as a whole.

Also

, that will make them healthy and energetic. Teachers will

also

feel happy after seeing the

Correct your spelling

homework

show examples

home

Correct your spelling

homework

show examples

work

. They will learn punctuality, discipline and honesty in

profession

Correct pronoun usage

their profession

show examples

later in life. In conclusion, Both play and

work

should go together

iin

Correct your spelling

any child's life for his brain and mind

development

Besides

the cooperation of

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

parents

also

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

equal

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

in fulfiling

this

target.

Submitted by davinder_ju on Thu Jun 17 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unstructured free time
creativity
mental health development
extracurricular activities
well-rounded development
sports
arts
social skills
family time
emotional growth
relationship building
rest and leisure
academic performance
burnout

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Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their time?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people believe that learning a foreign language is a very difficult task. What are the most difficult things about learning a foreign language? What is the best way to overcome them?

in some countries, more and more people are becoming intrested in finding out about the history of the houses or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?