some people think the Olympic Games are an existing event that can bring nations together. Others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

The
Olympic
Games
stand as a globally recognized event, drawing enthusiastic participation from diverse nations worldwide and fostering a sense of unity among societies and individuals,
according to
some proponents.
Conversely
, others contend that
this
form of entertainment is excessive, draining financial resources that could be allocated
elsewhere
.
To begin
with, the
Olympic
Games
serve as a profound avenue for cultural exchange and mutual understanding among nations. Take,
for instance
, the upcoming
Games
in Paris, where the influx of over 100,000 tourists from various corners of the globe will converge to celebrate athleticism and camaraderie.
This
convergence not only facilitates exposure to different cultures but
also
promotes greater appreciation and respect for diversity.
As a result
, the
Games
play a pivotal role in bringing nations together and fostering international goodwill.
However
, it cannot be denied that hosting the
Olympic
Games
entails significant financial expenditures. In cities like Paris, substantial investments are required to develop infrastructure and amenities to accommodate the influx of visitors.
For instance
, extensive planning and construction efforts are underway to create new entertainment precincts featuring bars, hotels, restaurants, and shops.
While
such
developments may enhance the city's appeal and generate revenue during the
Games
, critics argue that these funds could be better allocated to address pressing societal needs,
such
as healthcare, education, and scientific research. In summary, the debate surrounding the economic viability of the
Olympic
Games
underscores divergent perspectives on their value.
While
some emphasize the event's role in promoting cultural exchange and international cooperation, others highlight the financial burden it imposes on host cities. Despite the significant costs involved, I contend that the benefits of the
Olympic
Games
, including cultural enrichment, economic stimulation, and global unity, outweigh the drawbacks. As
such
, governments should continue to invest in
this
iconic event, albeit with careful consideration of budgetary constraints and long-term planning strategies.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' or 'Furthermore,' can help create a more fluid connection between your ideas.
Task Response
Enhance your task achievement by incorporating a wider variety of specific, relevant examples. Mentioning past Olympic Games and their impacts on host cities, both positive and negative, could offer a more comprehensive view.
Task Response
For better clarification of ideas, consider structuring paragraphs to introduce, explain, and then provide examples or evidence for each point. This method will make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Lastly, concluding your essay with a more definitive stance while summarizing both sides of the argument can strengthen your overall argument and provide a clear, impactful ending.

Your opinion

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