some people think the Olympic Games are an existing event that can bring nations together. Others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

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The
Olympic
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Games
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stand as a globally recognized event, drawing enthusiastic participation from diverse nations worldwide and fostering a sense of unity among societies and individuals,
according to
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some proponents.
Conversely
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, others contend that
this
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form of entertainment is excessive, draining financial resources that could be allocated
elsewhere
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.
To begin
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with, the
Olympic
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Games
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serve as a profound avenue for cultural exchange and mutual understanding among nations. Take,
for instance
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, the upcoming
Games
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in Paris, where the influx of over 100,000 tourists from various corners of the globe will converge to celebrate athleticism and camaraderie.
This
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convergence not only facilitates exposure to different cultures but
also
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promotes greater appreciation and respect for diversity.
As a result
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, the
Games
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play a pivotal role in bringing nations together and fostering international goodwill.
However
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, it cannot be denied that hosting the
Olympic
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Games
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entails significant financial expenditures. In cities like Paris, substantial investments are required to develop infrastructure and amenities to accommodate the influx of visitors.
For instance
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, extensive planning and construction efforts are underway to create new entertainment precincts featuring bars, hotels, restaurants, and shops.
While
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such
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developments may enhance the city's appeal and generate revenue during the
Games
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, critics argue that these funds could be better allocated to address pressing societal needs,
such
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as healthcare, education, and scientific research. In summary, the debate surrounding the economic viability of the
Olympic
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Games
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underscores divergent perspectives on their value.
While
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some emphasize the event's role in promoting cultural exchange and international cooperation, others highlight the financial burden it imposes on host cities. Despite the significant costs involved, I contend that the benefits of the
Olympic
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Games
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, including cultural enrichment, economic stimulation, and global unity, outweigh the drawbacks. As
such
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, governments should continue to invest in
this
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iconic event, albeit with careful consideration of budgetary constraints and long-term planning strategies.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' or 'Furthermore,' can help create a more fluid connection between your ideas.
Task Response
Enhance your task achievement by incorporating a wider variety of specific, relevant examples. Mentioning past Olympic Games and their impacts on host cities, both positive and negative, could offer a more comprehensive view.
Task Response
For better clarification of ideas, consider structuring paragraphs to introduce, explain, and then provide examples or evidence for each point. This method will make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Lastly, concluding your essay with a more definitive stance while summarizing both sides of the argument can strengthen your overall argument and provide a clear, impactful ending.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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