IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

#people #background #cities #work #consequences #offer
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Nowadays, due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of facilities in villages, many
people
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 are migrating to cities in order to find better employment opportunities. There are many consequences of
this
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 relocation
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 could impact the growth of developing nations. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss the
repurcussions
Correct your spelling
repercussions
 and some solutions which should be considered in order to minimise
this
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 movement to metro cities.
Firstly
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, there would be a great impact on the agriculture of the country if
this
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 trend of relocations continues as there would be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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people
Use synonyms
 left in the rural
areas
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 to do the farming activities. As a consequence, due to the shortage of resources, there would be a steep increase in the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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basic necessities
such
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 as grains, vegetables and fruits.
Secondly
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, more and more
people
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 moving to metropolitan
areas
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 could cause mismanagement which would
further
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 result in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 increase in
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate in cities. As a solution, the authorities should plan some development activities
such
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 as proper education and building some industries in the rural
areas
Use synonyms
 which could be helpful in creating employment opportunities for the
people
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 living there. Another point to be considered is, the
people
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 in rural
areas
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 should be paid well so that they can maintain a sustainable lifestyle and afford basic facilities easily without moving to urban
areas
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. In conclusion, the government in the developing nations should make sure to allocate
budget
Add an article
the budget
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 specifically for the betterment of the village
people
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 and creating employment options.
Also
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,
this
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 would be helpful in the overall growth of the nation in future.
Submitted by swati.9489 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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