Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals consider being competitive to be beneficial in daily life
while
others agree that people
should cooperate more instead
. This
essay will discuss both ideas and why I agree that working together is a more advantageous approach for people
competing with each other.
On the one hand, competition offers numerous positive outcomes for a person. first,
it makes an individual more motivated to work or study; therefore
contributes to the overall
productivity of people
. Also
, it sets a purpose to outrace each other which results in more willingness for people
which has been used for many companies. For instance
, Nike is a company that encourages employees to be competitive in order to increase production.
On the other hand
, I firmly agree that cooperating is an essential part of a human being that shapes our society and therefore
people
at work or school should take into account that helping each other brings a sense of happiness and fulfilment to people
. For example
, recent research showed that employees who tried to help others are more satisfied with themselves. Furthermore
, cooperation is a useful tool to hinder devastating outcomes of conflict between people
that result in nothing but suffering. Moreover
, a company may develop rapidly if its workers cooperate with each other to reverse the weak sides of the company.
In conclusion, although
some regard competition as a good thing that plays a vital role in the progression of individuals, I strongly disagree with this
belief because collaborating makes a person happier and more satisfied.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. The idea of cooperation and competition is well-addressed, but further clarity would enhance the essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to better illustrate your points. Examples help to solidify your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Work on expanding the ideas presented to add depth. The points are present, but more elaboration would bring them to life.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure includes a solid introduction and conclusion, which frame your discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is supported with relevant details, such as referencing Nike to explain the concept of competition at work.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument clearly, presenting a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!