Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

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Some individuals consider being competitive to be beneficial in daily life

while

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others agree that

people

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should cooperate more

instead

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This

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essay will discuss both ideas and why I agree that working together is a more advantageous approach for

people

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competing with each other. On the one hand, competition offers numerous positive outcomes for a person.

first,

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it makes an individual more motivated to work or study;

therefore

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contributes to the

overall

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productivity of

people

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Also

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, it sets a purpose to outrace each other which results in more willingness for

people

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which has been used for many companies.

For instance

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, Nike is a company that encourages employees to be competitive in order to increase production.

On the other hand

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, I firmly agree that cooperating is an essential part of a human being that shapes our society and

therefore

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people

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at work or school should take into account that helping each other brings a sense of happiness and fulfilment to

people

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For example

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, recent research showed that employees who tried to help others are more satisfied with themselves.

Furthermore

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, cooperation is a useful tool to hinder devastating outcomes of conflict between

people

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that result in nothing but suffering.

Moreover

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, a company may develop rapidly if its workers cooperate with each other to reverse the weak sides of the company. In conclusion,

although

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some regard competition as a good thing that plays a vital role in the progression of individuals, I strongly disagree with

this

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belief because collaborating makes a person happier and more satisfied.

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Wed Aug 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. The idea of cooperation and competition is well-addressed, but further clarity would enhance the essay.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to better illustrate your points. Examples help to solidify your arguments and make them more convincing.

task achievement

Work on expanding the ideas presented to add depth. The points are present, but more elaboration would bring them to life.

coherence cohesion

The essay structure includes a solid introduction and conclusion, which frame your discussion effectively.

coherence cohesion

Each main point is supported with relevant details, such as referencing Nike to explain the concept of competition at work.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument clearly, presenting a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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