IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Communication and Personality Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

Some
individuals
Use synonyms
 fail in
school
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
others
show examples
 are
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
successful in
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 up
life
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with that statement because human
beings
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
talents
Use synonyms
 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
. I will explain the
below paragraphs
Correct word order
paragraphs below
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some
individuals
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 have disparity types of
talents
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 and subject
knowledge
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,
such
Linking Words
 as music, sports, and charity activities.
For example
Linking Words
, human
beings
Use synonyms
 who play well in the player in India,
while
Linking Words
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
fails
Correct subject-verb agreement
fail
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
talents
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 are different from
person
Use synonyms
 to
person
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 some
people
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 compare them.
Also
Linking Words
, some human
beings
Use synonyms
 have
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 hidden
talents
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 that depend on the family background,
such
Linking Words
 as
musician’s
Correct article usage
a musician’s
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 son
Correct pronoun usage
who become
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become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 a musician as well doctor, dancer, and engineer.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 who are always happy with
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 friends and relations
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 succeed in
life
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, those who have only one aim and ambition
that
Verb problem
are that
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 are successful.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the handwork is an important factor
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in order to develop their lifestyle, to elevate their
knowledge
Use synonyms
, to become rich persons in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and to increase their confidence.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
talents
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 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
 are different from
person
Use synonyms
 to
person
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 some
individuals
Use synonyms
 succeed in
school
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 others fail.
As a result
Linking Words
, every human
Use synonyms
beings
Check wording
being's
show examples
 success in their
life
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 become famous. In my opinion,
school
Use synonyms
 education is a vitally important factor for
each
Correct determiner usage
every
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
,
is
Verb problem
as it does
show examples
 not
decided
Verb problem
determine
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Use synonyms
people’s
Fix the agreement mistake
person’s
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 success or
fail
Replace the word
failure
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the environment is another key factor
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the urban area’s
people
Use synonyms
 are well-talented
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to rural area’s
individuals
Use synonyms
.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has one clear idea. It will help keep your writing organized.
task achievement
You made a good point about different talents and the importance of hard work.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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