IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argue that the government should spend money on public services and facilities, but not on the arts. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #services #facilities #arts
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It is often claimed by some folks that the
government
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 ought to allocate budgets on providing services and constructing
facilities
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 to the citizens rather than spending
money
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 on
arts
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. I entirely agree with the opinion, and I believe that the
government
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 should give more emphasis to develop public amenities and
facilities
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.
To begin
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 with, different types of
arts
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 provide
people
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 with entertainment and relaxation.
In other words
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, since creating a piece of art is the way of expressing human's emotions, it assists an individual to get away from all the distress and crisis of
life
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.
For instance
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, singing a song or sketching a portrait can bring happiness and joy to the
life
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 of an artist.
Furthermore
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, audiences of these
arts
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 may
also
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 get excited and amused by these creations.
Thus
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,
arts
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 are the entertaining and relaxing elements for human
life
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 as they can give relief to
people
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 from affliction and stress.
On the other hand
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, public benefits from the
government
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 can facilitate
people
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 with necessary services and commodities to lead a comfortable
life
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. To elaborate, the
government
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 can develop and establish different infrastructures and
facilities
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 in order to provide benefits and rights to its citizen.
As a result
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, dwellers of a region can use these available
facilities
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 so as to improve their standard of
life
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.
For example
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, electricity, gas, and water are the necessities that are the fundamental requirements of citizens. As
such
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, investing
money
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 in constructing and improving these
facilities
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 can be more beneficial to the
people
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 as they can improve the living standard and lifestyle of the residents. In conclusion,
although
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arts
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 represent the emotions and state of mind of an artist and provide amusement to the inhabitants, public
facilities
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 are the basic rights of the residents and more significant to human
life
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. The idea of investing
money
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 in the
arts
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instead
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 of public services and amenities is completely preposterous. I agree that allocating a budget is far more crucial than spending
money
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 on
arts
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tahjib.rimon on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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