There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

#trend #people #countries #world #effect #population

In the past, humans had lower life expectancy compared to now, but

this

development has some degree of problems

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for

show examples

society as well;

however

, the scenario has been usually considered

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apply

show examples

beneficial.

Therefore

, I firmly believe it is a progressive trend despite the certain demerits.

This

essay will support my points in the following paragraphs. Admittedly, when

the

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apply

show examples

longevity astonishingly increases,

this

could

result

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result in

result from

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numerous repercussions to society.

Firstly

, how to meet

expenses

Correct article usage

the expenses

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of the elderly care system is one of the biggest challenges:

this

has been effectively managed by levy taxes when they had been working.

Secondly

, families seem to have difficulty in nursing the senior citizens at home, but most of the governments initiated nursing care homes to counteract the problems,

for instance

, physical, emotional, medical and safety are assured by

this

Thus

, even though there are some minor hurdles

due to

improved longevity,

this

can be encountered significantly.

Nevertheless

, above mentioned downsides,

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and advantageous

show examples

advantageous

Replace the word

advantages

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which bring to the world are countless. The obvious one is

that

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apply

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growing human

resource

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resources

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, which could

beneficial

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be beneficial

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develop

Wrong verb form

developing

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the existing facilities. Eventually, not only

Verb problem

will

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mankind

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apply

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be offered a safe

lives

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life

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, but it

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will be

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enjoyable as well. To illustrate, the oldies could start contributing economy since they have been utilized to extract their wisdom and experience.

Conversely

, If

the

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apply

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humans died in their early years, we would find difficulty in progressing

further

Hence

, it is entirely clear that merits outweigh any potential threat if

population

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the population

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live longer. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, looking into

the

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apply

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both possibilities, I

still

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am still

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convinced that the scenario of living many years advances mankind

into

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show examples

the next level than any negligible drawbacks.

Submitted by Sal on Sat Jun 19 2021

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task adequately, presenting relevant points. Ensure each point is clearly and comprehensively developed.

task achievement

Improve the precision of your language and avoid vague expressions to enhance clarity. Providing specific examples will strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Consider organizing your paragraphs more logically to enhance readability. Use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea.

coherence cohesion

Better transition phrases between your ideas could improve the flow of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which is commendable.

complete response

You have successfully touched upon both positive and negative aspects of increased life expectancy, showing a balanced perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?