IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
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There was the time when tourists prefer to travel to that
places
Use synonyms
, where they could enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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relaxation and able to escape from their hectic schedules, while nowadays, people want to visit those
places
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, where they could
ventures
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venture
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 and face many challenges
such
Linking Words
 as travelling in the Sahara desert or the Antarctic,
instead
Linking Words
 of luxurious and relaxing, now whether it carries benefits or having numerous risks,
this
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 will
further
Linking Words
 concern in the coming paragraphs. After the rise of social media, many people start affectation behaviour, where they start posting a number of pretentious photos that creates enormous
of
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apply
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insecurities, where for increasing the likes and comments
in
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on
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 Instagram and Facebook, many of them decide to travel
dangerous
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to dangerous
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 or challenging
places
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 because of their adulation towards surging the fake popularity in social
Correct your spelling
media
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medias
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media
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. Whilst, there are unique people, who
wants
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want
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 to experience something that no one ever
dare
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dares
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.
Therefore
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, they decide to travel
places
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such
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 as
North
Correct article usage
the North
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 or South Pole, where they are never going
think
Fix the infinitive
to think
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 twice.
Also
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, if they are asked to swim in a
freeze
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frozen
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 pond,
then
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also
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 they are not going to hesitate. Another instance,
number
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a number
the number
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 of tourists go
to climb
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climbing
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the
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apply
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Mount Everest, despite knowing
about
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apply
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that it can cost their life. In conclusion, travelling in
the
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apply
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dangerous
places
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, for instances, venturing
in
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into
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 the abyss caves or walking in the dense forests, can make your journey the most memorable and helps in having
never ending
Add a hyphen
never-ending
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 excitement,
in contrast
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,
this
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 can cost heavy to your life. Nowadays, teenagers are having fun, where they successfully able to capture great adventures in their smartphones
,
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apply
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 and get famous, but mostly,
such
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 travels
also
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 are the biggest cause of rocketing the deaths rate.
Submitted by nandikaraai on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
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