It is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Support your answer with specific reasons and details.

The two major turning points in one’s life that any diplomats in our society consider is Education and the Career followed by that. But when it comes hand in hand at the same time, it involves both challenges and the experience one going to possess for the rest of their life. We see
this
culture of working while learning more common in the developed countries like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA

Your article usage with the geographic name USA may be incorrect.

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. In countries like India, working during
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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education happens not very often due to the family structure and the parents used to pamper their children until they complete their graduation or degree.
This
varies in the families where the bread maker is struggling to make money even to fulfil even the basic needs of the family. Those children are forced to work during their education and we cannot deny the fact that most of
such
children will turn out to be successful than the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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getting pampered by
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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parents.
Hence
this
should definitely help the younger ones from not getting distracted and to know the value of
hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned

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money.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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