Many people believe that social networking sites (Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree.

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society

It is evident that technology has a predominant influence on society, especially on the young. With the birth of social networking

sites

, many intellectuals opine that the exorbitant exposure to

such

websites might be a huge detriment to both individuals and society. If asked, I would partially agree with the opinion and my supporting evidence will be given

further

in the essay.

To begin

, the most detrimental effects of the above notion is being that overexposure to said

media

sites

could be a pathway to addiction. Since websites

such

as Facebook provide users with a copious amount of new content which could lead to them being engrossed in it for an extended period of time. For that reason, it might create a more sedentary lifestyle, leading to a lack of physical activities and a deterioration in health

as a result

Moreover

, cybersecurity should

also

be put under major consideration. Personal information of pupils and even cooperations are at risk of being stolen and it could cause detrimental effects.

For instance

, thousands of people get their intel stolen and sold each year. Despite major drawbacks, social

media

could provide various benefits. These

sites

could be used as a tool to convey and absorb certain knowledge. With the modernization process, news channels and cooperations provide intel via social

media

post.

Furthermore

media

sites

also

make it easier for the public to access crucial pieces of information. To clarify, news regarding the current state of covid 19 is widely available on networking

sites

and is easily accessible.

In addition

, it

also

serves as a means of communication between people. Most networks provide a messaging tool to communicate with others,

therefore

it is possible for the public to connect with each other even in a pandemic. To conclude, if social networking

sites

are not used wisely it could lead to drastic issues. The utilization of said technology should be educated in order to reduce said negative impacts on both the public and the population

Submitted by vietnn05 on Sun Jun 20 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

erosion
face-to-face
interactions
privacy concerns
data breaches
misinformation
polarize
cyberbullying
online harassment
procrastination
productivity
social isolation
dissemination
breeding ground
vast amounts
personal information
mental health

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