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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

“Children all over the world should learn to speak a single, universal language fluently in addition to their native language.” To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#“children #world #language #addition
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Nowadays knowledge of foreign languages is important for everybody. But what about children? It is considered by some people that the ability to speak another, the universal language is necessary for them.
However
, there are
also
 individuals, who disagree with the statement. In my opinion, children, who can talk with the community in a non-native dialect have more opportunities and for
this
 , the reason I think universal vocabulary should be learnt by them.
Firstly
, from a young ,the aged population must
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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learnt
Correct your spelling
learn
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 how to speak,
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 to communicate with people from other countries.
For reaching
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To reach
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 it they should study a non-native language, which is understood by the majority because
this
 skill will help them in different life situations.
For example
, my elder brother, when he was a kid, was lost in the mountains. Thanks to my mom, who taught him English, he found the way to the village, where we waited for him.
Thus
, it is worth making your child learn languages.
Secondly
, the capacity to speak the universal language well beneficial not only at a young age but
also
 at an old one, because multilingualism nowadays is in demand in the labour market. It will open career prospects in the future and the best time to get
such
 a skill is childhood because it is known that people at a young age learn new things much faster than old ones.
For instance
, my brother’s friend can speak English and German, because when he was I child he
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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had a babysitter, who taught him them.
Consequently
, by the age of ,10 he could speak freely with native speakers.
Moreover
, he was hired because of
this
 ability.
Hence
, the contribution to the child in the present will give positive results in the future In conclusion, I would like to say that children should have the skill to speak fluently in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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universal terminology because it is advantageous not only in the present
whereas
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but
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also
 in the future.
Submitted by emmashavva on

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task achievement
Clarify the first paragraph to more clearly highlight the two opposing viewpoints on the issue. This will enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Transition between paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking phrases to clearly connect your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that every point you make is clearly relevant to the topic. Some examples, such as the one about the brother's experience in the mountains, while interesting, could be better aligned with the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and generally effective, which helps to frame the essay well.
task achievement
Use of specific examples (e.g., the brother's experience and the friend's babysitter) to support the main points is good and makes the essay more engaging.
task achievement
The main ideas are clear and the essay mostly stays on-topic, which helps in maintaining reader engagement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluency
  • Proficiency
  • Global unity
  • Bilingualism
  • Multilingualism
  • Cultural identity
  • Heritage
  • Cognitive benefits
  • Communication
  • Educational resources
What to do next:
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